eyesoopenned

he just called....hes picking me up at 9....im beyond nervous....

for the last 2 months i have been saving and planning for a 50th surpirse party for my dad....$682.98 later...it all paid off....he arrived at the hall around 7:30...when he walked in i pushed play on the cd player.."you are my sunshine" (the song he use to sing to me when i was younger) blared and i saw his face light up...his eyes glaze...and a...
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ive been clean now for 64 days...it has been the longest 64 days of my life....at times i think of how easy it would be to fall into all that shit again...to not have to think about anything or feel for anyone except for the drugs.....i tend to say that i dont really regret those 2 years of my life, that they helped make me...
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today i celebrate 50 years of my dad being on this god forsaken planet....we never thought he'd make it to be this old...i mean with all the shitty health hes been handed...but yet he still manages to wake up every morning and put a smile on my face....hes so wonderful....i love him more than anyone else in the world....

im off all day...today is such...
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i just got back from carnegie mellon univ....it was terribly cold in the room today for some reason....they actually put a space heater next to me so my tits wouldnt fall off....the usuals were there and a couple new faces....the drawings didnt turn out all that bad...theres this one guy that comes every sunday just about...hes in his late 30s...although he looks about 20....hes got...
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i went mini golfing tonight with sarah caitlyn and my baby...annaliesa....it was mediocre fun but fun nonetheless i suppose...i didnt really mind what we did as long as i was with annaliesa...shes my everything...more than a best friend...shes just...shes annaliesa...

i recieved awkward and uncomfortable looks tonight from all the other golfers....i guess they didnt approve of the outfit or something...fuck em....tell me whats wrong...
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im home finally...all i want to do is go to bed but i think im at the point of exhaustion where im too tired to sleep...ugh...i hate this..my lids are brimming over with sleepiness and yet i jsut cant keep then closed.....blah blah blah....goldfinger was amazing last night...the first 2 bands were just awful....awful....but goldfinger came on and made up for it tenfold...i was pleased...ill...
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i just awoke from the most vivid dream ive ever dreamt....im still touching myself to see if im really awake....unfortunately i am....it was about jason....i could feel everything he did to me...his hands sliding up and down my thighs...his teeth gently nibbling at my ears...his lips pulling at mine....ahhhh...this boy has got me....im not sure what is about him....but he makes me feel like i...
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i start work in about 2 hours...ugh another 12 hour day full of asshole customers and jerk off bosses...sometimes i wonder why i stay ....oh well....besides the 2 aforementioned reasons...i actually really like my job....i get to sit on my ass all day and sell cigarettes and gas...plus the kids i work with are so much fun...especially jason...what the sexy boy he is..yum...im suppose to...
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