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eyerush

Hayward, ca

Member Since 2005

Followers 108 Following 173

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Thursday Jan 10, 2008

Jan 9, 2008
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Ok, a brief update.

In the past there were two things that I talked about and they have now come together and one completely describes the other.

Remember the girl I dated in highschool and haven't seen and then recently hooked up with? (I know, I know ending a sentence with preposition.)

And do you remember me telling you to listen to a band called the Two Gallants?

Well, I'm gonna include the lyrics for a song that not only describes the character I've become, but especially with the situation w/ the broad from highschool.

Despite What You've Been Told


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I guess by the bloodstain on your lips
And the wander of your fingertips
I should prove true to my emptiness
And stay here

Well I'm just a kid of ill repute
But the skin I wear's my only suit
And you, you're just a substitute
For the one that I hold dear

You know you could be anyone
God forgive my tastless tongue
I never should have been set free

I carve my eyes, I skin my face
And beg somehow to be replaced ?
That's how we deal with boys like me

I guess by this world so sick with loss
And your services so free of cost
I should climb down off my rugged cross
And lay with you

You know by now it's half past late
And I only came here for escape
You, you're just my next mistake
Like me to you

You know you could be anyone
God forgive your unborn sons
I hope they don't end up like me

I drag my mind through steets of shame
Blame myself, forgive the game
That's how we deal with boys like me

But despite what you've been told
I once had a soul
Left somewhere behind
A former friend of mine

And I hate to speak so free
But you mean nothing to me
So if the streetlights they shine bright
I'll be home tonight

I guess by the dim light in your eyes
And that to you all things come as a surprise
I should set the steel trap of your thighs
And dive right in

To you I'm just a confused child
Insecure or in denial
Go raise your robes, go have your trial
I'll let you in

You know I could be anyone
God forgive what I should have done
My thoughts enough to kill tv

And yes, I guess I made this bed
But I'll take the sidewalk instead
That's how we deal with boys with me

But despite what you've been told
I once had a soul
Left somewhere behind
A former friend of mine

And I hate to sound so true
But I mean nothing to you
And with the streetlights they shine bright
I'll be home tonight *



So, if you flew past those lyrics, go back and re-read them and think of that one first rebounder you were gonna have and how you probably shouldn't have and would be a better person for keeping that higher ground and you didn't like or respect them etc. etc. etc. and so forth. That is the situation between me and the girl. Not just her either. Any of them. The perfect one that ended up just not being right (for no apparent reason), the potential threesome chicks, any of them. Sometimes, a person just needs some time to sort their own shit out and establish an identity before they share it with someone new.

So, the life of a hermit for me? Or do I live the life of a hermit with the advantages of a bachelor? (Do I screw whomever I want but have no emotional attachment to them?) For now, the former. But, I do always have something up my sleeve. (I actually enjoy hermit-ness (?). It adds to the older /wiser image I've already established with most of these people.)

Everything else is going well. I walk almost everyday. An old friend is trying to get me to join a gym with her. I read a lot. I even keep up with the newspaper. So far, the resolutions are going as planned. I haven't worked since the beginning of Dec. but don't worry about me. I'm salary. I'm still getting paid. Helps to be friends with the boss.

Current listening moods: Still Tom Waits. Really getting into Spoon. The new Radiohead is "fucking a" awesome. It made me start listening to Thom Yorke's solo album more.

Current list of movies I want to go see: There Will Be Blood, No Country Fo Old Men, Into The Wild (it's been awhile since I've been to the theaters) and let's see. hmm. I know there are a bunch more but those are the really important ones to me.

Current Crush: Still Scarlett and the chick from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and the chick from Pushing Daises.

And my favorite. Current book. I'm almost done with A Fan's Notes. Haven't decided what is next. Any suggestions? (I only have a hundred books I haven't read yet to choose form.

*I realized that a lot of the lyrics I looked up were wrong. I think I fixed most of them but in case I didn't, sorry

VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
voss:
It's a deal!

Jan 13, 2008
_margot_:

"...Actually, I'm a drinker with writing problems."
Brendan Behan

Yeah that may be me all too well.

Thank you. Its good to have you as part of my crazy online family.

♥
Jan 15, 2008

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