eyehatetherain

i start to get interested in guys a bit too fast. i dont do anything besides a bit of flirting. but i go at it a little too fast from time to time. i've learned to pace myself. but mentally i still do it. sigh. i just never have a guy crush back. or anything close to it.
sigh. whats wrong with me?
i know. sounds like a pity party. i dont mean it like that. its just a bit exhausting. ugh.
my confidence is shot to be honest. i never really have any faith b/c i've never had any true interest back. the most is just ppl saying they want to hook up. i havent done so. thats not who i am. there was just one guy who anything like that with, he was my first everything. but it turned out that wasnt a good situation. he didnt feel as deeply as i did. its just a friendship now.

sigh. whats so wrong with me