Does our house look like a dark danky cave, even at 11am?
I have had the pleasure of having 20 minutes of my life today taken away for what I am beginning to feel is my new life calling; bat wrangling! Yes, for the 3rd time in less than a year (5, if you count the feathery ones) I've had to take care of getting a winged rodent out of my house. Here I am, plugging away at the computer, trying to find some place that will take my vision insurance, when I see something swoosh by my field of vision - I don't think anything of it at first until my two of my brave members of my feline pride, start looking around excited. That's when I saw number 3.
"Fuck, not another one!" I said out loud to only myself, to the boys and certainly the bat (I heard they have good hearing).
The bat has no sense of direction or flight pattern for that matter, it's just swooping around, looking lost and scared, trying to avoid the boys. I quickly open the front door, hoping that the bat would just fly out, but the only success that the open door brought me was, Gary (one of the boys), forgetting his masculine feline task and deciding that looking outside was a much grander idea. Ignoring the bat for a few moments, I round up the cats, put them downstairs and grabbed our large blue laundry hamper while I was down there - this is the perfect bat capturing tool, I thought to myself. I take it upstairs, run into my room to put on my dirty blue hoodie and begin my new career as a bat wrangler.
My first attempts were rather amatuerish for a experienced wrangler such as I. I found out just jumping in front of the bats flight path and hoping the animal would be stupid enough to just fly right in was, well, stupid on my behalf. My second attempt was to use the hamper more like a blockade, hoping I could force it outside, like a cowboy does to get cattle through the open gate. This would have worked, if it wasn't for the fact that - I don't know - seemed like the bat was doing it's best to stay from the lush blue, sunny skies (may have to do with that whole being nocturnal thing) - so I went to attempt number 3.
I "punched" the bat with the hamper.
As it was making a turn back towards me, I thrusted out with the hamper and hit the bat with the edge of the hamper. This sent lil' ol' bat down to the ground in a daze, so I took the oppritunity and threw the hamper on top of it. It started to scream at me (surely, because it was scared) and out of reaction, I told it to shut up - it did. Immeadity, I made a b-line downstairs to find something that I could cover the top (now the bottom) of the hamper with, I ripped off a huge piece of cardboard - I hope we didn't need it - and slid it underneath the hamper. I got up and ran outside with my captor and threw the hamper on the grass and luckily the bat few out immeadity.
After I cleaned up, I went downstairs and patched up the only place I could think how a bat could get into our house, an old dryer duct. I know it could not be the chimney, because we had the covered up after bats 1 & 2 and Birds 1& 2. Just to be safe, I'm calling our landlord to inform him (again) and also to get a leak issue fixed up.
I hope that your day will be as "batty" as mine! Yukyuk...
Baaah, and stuff.
I have had the pleasure of having 20 minutes of my life today taken away for what I am beginning to feel is my new life calling; bat wrangling! Yes, for the 3rd time in less than a year (5, if you count the feathery ones) I've had to take care of getting a winged rodent out of my house. Here I am, plugging away at the computer, trying to find some place that will take my vision insurance, when I see something swoosh by my field of vision - I don't think anything of it at first until my two of my brave members of my feline pride, start looking around excited. That's when I saw number 3.
"Fuck, not another one!" I said out loud to only myself, to the boys and certainly the bat (I heard they have good hearing).
The bat has no sense of direction or flight pattern for that matter, it's just swooping around, looking lost and scared, trying to avoid the boys. I quickly open the front door, hoping that the bat would just fly out, but the only success that the open door brought me was, Gary (one of the boys), forgetting his masculine feline task and deciding that looking outside was a much grander idea. Ignoring the bat for a few moments, I round up the cats, put them downstairs and grabbed our large blue laundry hamper while I was down there - this is the perfect bat capturing tool, I thought to myself. I take it upstairs, run into my room to put on my dirty blue hoodie and begin my new career as a bat wrangler.
My first attempts were rather amatuerish for a experienced wrangler such as I. I found out just jumping in front of the bats flight path and hoping the animal would be stupid enough to just fly right in was, well, stupid on my behalf. My second attempt was to use the hamper more like a blockade, hoping I could force it outside, like a cowboy does to get cattle through the open gate. This would have worked, if it wasn't for the fact that - I don't know - seemed like the bat was doing it's best to stay from the lush blue, sunny skies (may have to do with that whole being nocturnal thing) - so I went to attempt number 3.
I "punched" the bat with the hamper.
As it was making a turn back towards me, I thrusted out with the hamper and hit the bat with the edge of the hamper. This sent lil' ol' bat down to the ground in a daze, so I took the oppritunity and threw the hamper on top of it. It started to scream at me (surely, because it was scared) and out of reaction, I told it to shut up - it did. Immeadity, I made a b-line downstairs to find something that I could cover the top (now the bottom) of the hamper with, I ripped off a huge piece of cardboard - I hope we didn't need it - and slid it underneath the hamper. I got up and ran outside with my captor and threw the hamper on the grass and luckily the bat few out immeadity.
After I cleaned up, I went downstairs and patched up the only place I could think how a bat could get into our house, an old dryer duct. I know it could not be the chimney, because we had the covered up after bats 1 & 2 and Birds 1& 2. Just to be safe, I'm calling our landlord to inform him (again) and also to get a leak issue fixed up.
I hope that your day will be as "batty" as mine! Yukyuk...
Baaah, and stuff.
nirbhao:
the fear-o-vision talking heads said there is an outbreak of rabies in area bats, which could be why you're getting a high number of visitors