extrafox

I was talking to Alicia today, and she told me she asked me why I wanted my nipples pierced. I thought for a moment, and said "I can think of a lot of reasons you probably don't want to hear, so let's stick with 'I think they're really hot.'" She looked at me and said, "I could never get anything like that done. I don't think I'm comfortable enough with myself to let anyone else besides Nash see me that way, so not only would it be hard for the piercer, no one else would get to see them afterward."

I used to be that way. Not that I regularly go around flashing people now, but I wouldn't have a problem showing my nipples to someone after I got them pierced. Alicia definitely isn't the American Standard Beauty -- she's very petite and blonde, and very much the tomboyish alterna-chick, but there's a lot of quiet beauty in her features, and they go very well together. I want her to feel comfortable in her skin. I think I want that for everyone, regardless of how much they may be deemed repulsive.

This weekend began my push for my own philosophy of happiness. I've spent so much of my time out here in the desert being aloof from the frat boys and sorority girls around me, being upset at the distance between me and those who love me, and being frustrated with my own lack of initiative. I want it to stop. Thanks to Deborah, I felt good enough for a long enough time that I think I can remember to feel that way all the time. I want to remember that it's possible to feel happy, or at the very least content, about everything that happens. I've only had one relapse so far, and to my credit, I was very tired.

Salsa is a comfort food.

Kate