A BLONDE NOT UNDERSTANDING BLONDE JOKES.... How typical of me.
So, I was born a blonde. My natural hair colors a dirty blonde color but I've been dying it since I was 13. But I guess there's no disguising this blonde. I think I may just be one of the ditsiest people you will ever meet. I make Jessica Simpson look like a fricken Rocket Scientist sometimes. And it's completely and utterly HUMILIATING. I hear at least 4 or 5 blonde jokes a week, and usually I get them and laugh.... But sometimes they really are hard to comprehend! I mean, a blonde not understanding a blonde joke, I know what you're all thinking LOL But seriously. Is it just me, or does anyone else agree that some blonde jokes must have been thought up of by the most dry humored people ever. Today a co worker went on for 5 minutes to tell this blonde joke, and at the end he was like, "why aren't you laughing?" and I tried to force a chuckle, but by then he knew I didn't get it. Lol. Although, some are absolutely hilarious. Here's a few of my favorite ones:
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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
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A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
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So, I was born a blonde. My natural hair colors a dirty blonde color but I've been dying it since I was 13. But I guess there's no disguising this blonde. I think I may just be one of the ditsiest people you will ever meet. I make Jessica Simpson look like a fricken Rocket Scientist sometimes. And it's completely and utterly HUMILIATING. I hear at least 4 or 5 blonde jokes a week, and usually I get them and laugh.... But sometimes they really are hard to comprehend! I mean, a blonde not understanding a blonde joke, I know what you're all thinking LOL But seriously. Is it just me, or does anyone else agree that some blonde jokes must have been thought up of by the most dry humored people ever. Today a co worker went on for 5 minutes to tell this blonde joke, and at the end he was like, "why aren't you laughing?" and I tried to force a chuckle, but by then he knew I didn't get it. Lol. Although, some are absolutely hilarious. Here's a few of my favorite ones:
..................................................................................................................................
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
..............................................................................................................................................
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
................................................................................................................................................
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
......................................................................................................................................................
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
coltoncasanova:
I LOVE YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
jozsef:
My hair was also dirty blonde before it took a leave of absence, but notwithstanding that blonde jokes surely arise out of jealousy, I have to admit that I'm notorious for taking jokes at face value and wondering why everyone else is laughing. April 1 news reports had me upset for days until I caught on a couple of years ago. 