When two cats are hyperactive:
1.0 Do NOT have a shower without the door being 100% securly latched (locking optional, but recommended). Failing to ensure the door is secured shut could result in a cat attacking the shower curtain, then tumbling into the tub.
2.0 Do NOT sit on a bed within the psychotic wet cat play zone (hereinafter referred to as the "Disaster Zone") and attempt to eat breakfast or do make up. See respective explanations below:
2.1 Attempting to eat a bowl of cereal within the Disaster Zone may result in milk drenched clothing and very slippery hardwood floors (or alternatively, soaked carpet). Slippery hardwood floors pose a very painful potential situation, especially when leaping up, i.e. a slip and fall, head to table contact, combination.
2.2 The risks of attempting to apply make up in the Disaster Zone will vary in potential harm depending on the type of make up being applied. WARNING: Attempting to apply eyeliner or mascara in the Disaster Zone poses a high risk factor! Should the hyper cats run across your lap, faster than the speed of light, bumping your arm agressively towards your face, the eye liner or mascara tip may suddenly jab you in the eye. Damages resulting from this situation may include high amounts of pain, extreme foul language, the "Niagara Falls" tearing effect (note: the "Niagara Falls" tearing effect may wash away the majority of your hard work, waterproof may be necessary) and prolonged blurred vision.
3.0 Do not attempt mobility within, or with a view to exit, the Disaster Zone, until all signs of the hyperactive cats are clear. Should you choose to ignore this rule, you may want to watch very carefully where you are stepping, or you may, or may nearly, trip on a cat. This could be harmful to both yourself and the cat in question.
I'm sure you guys can figure how my morning was.
That right there, is the result of 2.2 above.
1.0 Do NOT have a shower without the door being 100% securly latched (locking optional, but recommended). Failing to ensure the door is secured shut could result in a cat attacking the shower curtain, then tumbling into the tub.
2.0 Do NOT sit on a bed within the psychotic wet cat play zone (hereinafter referred to as the "Disaster Zone") and attempt to eat breakfast or do make up. See respective explanations below:
2.1 Attempting to eat a bowl of cereal within the Disaster Zone may result in milk drenched clothing and very slippery hardwood floors (or alternatively, soaked carpet). Slippery hardwood floors pose a very painful potential situation, especially when leaping up, i.e. a slip and fall, head to table contact, combination.
2.2 The risks of attempting to apply make up in the Disaster Zone will vary in potential harm depending on the type of make up being applied. WARNING: Attempting to apply eyeliner or mascara in the Disaster Zone poses a high risk factor! Should the hyper cats run across your lap, faster than the speed of light, bumping your arm agressively towards your face, the eye liner or mascara tip may suddenly jab you in the eye. Damages resulting from this situation may include high amounts of pain, extreme foul language, the "Niagara Falls" tearing effect (note: the "Niagara Falls" tearing effect may wash away the majority of your hard work, waterproof may be necessary) and prolonged blurred vision.
3.0 Do not attempt mobility within, or with a view to exit, the Disaster Zone, until all signs of the hyperactive cats are clear. Should you choose to ignore this rule, you may want to watch very carefully where you are stepping, or you may, or may nearly, trip on a cat. This could be harmful to both yourself and the cat in question.
I'm sure you guys can figure how my morning was.
That right there, is the result of 2.2 above.VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hahahe
ima stalk jooo now.
I NOSE where u live
edit: i actually dont think i do know where you live. BUT I KNOW PPL WHO DO!
[Edited on Sep 14, 2005 2:17AM]
Although when at a cousin's while taking a shower, their cat would always walk in, do a lap in the shower, and leave. Everytime. It weirded me out.
But $6.95 for personality is a bargain. Mine is a patch-work of part-mooched, part-looted, and part-found elements. For best results mix and add 1-2 parts alcohol.
But don't misunderstand my feelings about the bottom of the barrel. Up to and including the present time I have existed only at that bottom, with the warm grime and talkative maggots. Its my hometown, I grew up there. Unfortunately, debt and the parental crutch just won't go away as long as I exist in said bottom. My independence, so to speak, exists only in the middle.