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Decatur

Member Since 2002

Followers 9 Following 14

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Tuesday Apr 01, 2003

Mar 31, 2003
0
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she new me: still busy i gather?
neodurden: nope...
neodurden: sorry, i didnt see you were online
she new me: wanna talk?
she new me: ah, it's ok
she new me: how was your day?
she new me: better yet, is it possible that we can talk about this over the phone, because i have to leave relatively soon
neodurden: busy...im so happy that i got out of my java class...two and a half months into the school year
she new me: java class?
neodurden: programming
she new me: ah
she new me: hey
she new me: can i call you?
neodurden: i would rather not...
she new me: ok
neodurden: ...about everything that has been going on...
she new me: ok, well, we'll talk here then
she new me: how do you feel about all that?
she new me: ello?
neodurden: you have said, and swore that you have changed...and i could almost believe you, almost. i was thinking about everything, and how those three months were when we were together, and everything, and i had myself questioning. but then, i stepped back and looked at this situation. you swore you have changed. i dont see it. you are still impulsive, you are still extremely selfish. the more i look at it, the more i see that you have no respect for me, and the situation that i am in. jessie and i are happy. i dont want to leave her. i dont want you to break us up again. i dont care if you have this romantic idea about telling me that you love me, and that fate wins, blahblahblah. i dont believe in fate. i think what you are doing, is pantamount to trying to get me to cheat on jessie. emotionally at least. something you claim to hate more than anything. thats exactly what you are doing. i am not trying to be mean, but this is the sitation how i see it.
she new me: well, if that is how you see it, and that is what you truly believe, i am not going to try any further to change it. I told you that this would be my last time because i DON'T want to interefere with you and Jessie, if that is truly what you want. I think it's sad that you can't see how I have changed, but there's nothing I can say or do to prove to you that my intentions have always been good. They have never been to "break up" you and Jessie, rather, they have been to help you find what could truly make you the happiest. If Jessie does that for you, then that's all that I could ask for. That's all I ever wanted. You were unhappy, and I still love you, so I gave it a shot. I am happy that you have come to a decision
she new me: that said, i think it is best that we shouldn't talk anymore
neodurden: sweet nightmares
she new me signed off at 10:42:00 PM.

on that note, i blocked her. two and a half years of turmoil in my life are over
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
undeadxdiatribe:
im glad you dug the f.d.l.s. song you downloaded....take care.peace.
jame.s
Apr 2, 2003
desilou:
i just wanted to say hello haven't signed your journal in awhile
Apr 7, 2003

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