exploded

Well, it's been a while since I've updated, and I feel bad. I feel like people want to know what's going on, and I haven't been letting you guys know. Well, here goes...

...It's now been just over a week since the funeral, nearly two since she died. Things are getting easier. Life is returning to a semblence of normalcy. When no one is looking, I still am mourning. I'm now able to look back on the funeral and analyze it, turn over what it meant. The main thing I remember, and the thing that gave me a great amount of comfort, was that the watch she was wearing is still running. I don't know if that helps me to realize that time marches on, or what. I just know that when I saw the second hand ticking away, it somehow made her still alive. I will never know when the watch has stopped. But I would like to think that when it does, I will know it. It sounds odd, like I want this psychic connection with my mom's watch, but it makes sense to me, and that's what counts.

I came back to classes last week, albeit only two days of them. Then Thanksgiving break started, which was so utterly welcome. Wednesday Emaline and I went to Indianapolis for my birthday. She was so super nice and paid for everything, it was awesome! We had a really great time, just hanging out in Indy. We had never been there together, so we went to music shops, and to the artsy areas. She bought me Rapture and Klezmatics albums (Echos and Possession, respectively).

Thanksgiving. Jessie (Emaline) and I ate at my grandparents that morning. This was my mom's parents house. This was pretty tough at times. There were a few tears shed. We ate, and had to leave fairly quickly to make it to her grandma's house. We have dated for two years, or thereabouts (no one really knows for sure anymore), and I had never met her dad. Well, I finally did. He seemed really nice. We all played a two hour long game of dominos. Fun times.

My birthday was last Friday. I had a cake when I got home from work, which was very nice.

One of the really odd things about my mom dying was just the night before I got the news, Jessie and I were talking about meeting eachother's parents. The plan was for her to meet my mom the morning of Thanksgiving....

...this entry is too long...I'm finished for now. Goodnight.