exning

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I tend to over-evaluate my life a lot, especially as the years grow. I saw something along the lines on Shotgun's instagram that said, "If you want to know about someones fears, look at the pictures they take". Something like that. What are your fears? I started to look through mine and it's obvious, as for many women who are in front of the camera or under a lens with people to judge. I take pictures of myself to possible see what other people see, some sort of explanation or answer to who I really am. I try to show everyone pain in my eyes, wisdom in my smile, love in my heart with the photos we stick in member review.

Oh and I lied, apparently I thought thanksgiving was the 25th, but its the 22nd. My set goes up on the 25th. Here's another picture for you to tide you over


*edit* it's December 7th now.





I did a baby shower order by myself yesterday:





I'll be doing a lot of cupcakes orders (hopefully) because I quit my job.
I just couldn't take it anymore. The benefits were amazing; I could call in sick WHENEVER i wanted, get all days off no matter the circumstance, and my aunt was my boss. She understood mental health days and having to leave early. She paid me well and I worked full time. However, there are too many dark sides to that field that I do not want to be a part of. There's a bitter resentment people tend to grow, and an abusive personality that I never wanted to have. I don't have that evil inside me and that environment grows like fungi. My family is understanding and loving but they are also manipulative and selfish. I don't want that part of me to grow when I'm older.

So, I have to go back to school. Apparently I'm only a few credits away from getting my Bachelors so im going to be REALLY poor. Thankfully my mother is a college counselor and believes in the fundementals of education. Since I'll be driving hours to my transfer school in Arizona, she will be paying for my gas. Speaking of her...

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She's doing great. Her hairs pretty much all out from chemo and she goes for her second dose on Tuesday. Things are looking good. We've been renovating her house this whole time, which you probably dont care about, but im very proud of.




New microwave, new stove, we painted the blue walls, primed and painted the cabinets, drilling in handles, purchased new countertops



I know the yard looks sad but you should have seen it before. We planted grass and created a little flower section. Then took over the side yard and put cedar and cacti.

What else is there to say? Oh! I'll be going to Las Vegas in February to shoot some more sets and get some must needed hanging out. Getting my side piece filled in Monday. Hope all is well on your end.