Thank you for all the e-mails, messages, texts for supporting me and really helping me out. I will get back to every email as soon as I am able to take the time from my not so busy life.
Just a lot of thinking. I need to get the idea of hope out of my mind, that perhaps something can work out. But it won't and it can't.
I will be going back to the valley for the summer. I'm putting in my 30 days notice on my apartment. I may be back in San Jose, I may not. I can't talk to Mitch, not on the basis of friendship. Call it immature, but I am not ready and don't want to be ready for someone who won't put the effort in explaining his feelings fully.
The day of the breakup, my father texted me saying him and his new wife are having a baby. I wish I had happiness for him, but the way things are going right now just makes me hate men in general. Maybe he won't fuck this one up, that's all I can say. I hope the best for him and that lady.
I got my stuff back today, but I didn't get my apartment key back. I'm not going to bother, it was a spare, and it's not like he's going to sneak into my place. Rufus senses something is wrong about the situation, my ex ex boyfriend (other Mitch) is being unsually supportive considering the amount of emotion he has towards people. I'm amazed on how much feedback I've gotten for this, I think people are amazed at what happened as well. It really helps me out though, to know that I'm not wrong according to other people.
I honestly don't know what I'm doing, or how I should feel, or what I'm feeling really. I don't know how to base my decisions or what I need to really do. If I should leave or not, if I'm doing the right thing, who I should listen to, what I need to do to be happy. I wish there was a sign, something to tell me that I'm doing the right thing. I wish a kick in the face would wake me back up into reality, or an awesome psychic to read me tarot cards telling me my future decision making outcome.
I'm letting go of my pride right now. I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I wish I had him here. Even just to give me advice. And if you're reading, and you change your mind, you know where I'll be living, you know where to find me. I've risked all I had to be in the situation I am in, and was-with you.
The sunburn we got together is finally peeling. I hope the skin is thicker underneath.
Just a lot of thinking. I need to get the idea of hope out of my mind, that perhaps something can work out. But it won't and it can't.
I will be going back to the valley for the summer. I'm putting in my 30 days notice on my apartment. I may be back in San Jose, I may not. I can't talk to Mitch, not on the basis of friendship. Call it immature, but I am not ready and don't want to be ready for someone who won't put the effort in explaining his feelings fully.
The day of the breakup, my father texted me saying him and his new wife are having a baby. I wish I had happiness for him, but the way things are going right now just makes me hate men in general. Maybe he won't fuck this one up, that's all I can say. I hope the best for him and that lady.
I got my stuff back today, but I didn't get my apartment key back. I'm not going to bother, it was a spare, and it's not like he's going to sneak into my place. Rufus senses something is wrong about the situation, my ex ex boyfriend (other Mitch) is being unsually supportive considering the amount of emotion he has towards people. I'm amazed on how much feedback I've gotten for this, I think people are amazed at what happened as well. It really helps me out though, to know that I'm not wrong according to other people.
I honestly don't know what I'm doing, or how I should feel, or what I'm feeling really. I don't know how to base my decisions or what I need to really do. If I should leave or not, if I'm doing the right thing, who I should listen to, what I need to do to be happy. I wish there was a sign, something to tell me that I'm doing the right thing. I wish a kick in the face would wake me back up into reality, or an awesome psychic to read me tarot cards telling me my future decision making outcome.
I'm letting go of my pride right now. I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I wish I had him here. Even just to give me advice. And if you're reading, and you change your mind, you know where I'll be living, you know where to find me. I've risked all I had to be in the situation I am in, and was-with you.
The sunburn we got together is finally peeling. I hope the skin is thicker underneath.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
digitaldavid:
I'm so sad 
mikodilbeck:
I am sorry to hear this. Take some alone time to get yourself some time to heal, and just try to focus on you.