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existentialsex4

It's looking like I will soon be in Montreal!

Member Since 2007

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Tuesday Feb 07, 2012

Feb 7, 2012
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I am finally breaking out of this rut I've been in. I've been journaling like crazy and getting some real psychological results. Sure, sometimes I'm kind of bitchy for some days after I spill my feelings out on the page and get down to my deep and dark emotions, but a few days afterwords I feel better. I have also been doing some of the exercises the therapist talked about, like looking in the mirror and telling myself I accept myself and love myself. It's crazy because I used think that people like that were fucked up, or not metal enough, or a wimp, but after doing it for a few weeks it really works. I feel more motivated, because I'm not as scared to fail (I know if I do, I will treat myself kindly now). I'm less in my shell than normal, I am funny sometimes, and I can look people in the eye. l feel like I might actually be getting somewhere, slowly but surely. I also feel a little too open with my sisters or close friends, I just spill my guts out to everyone. I should probably tone that down a bit. Therapy is weird.

Anyways, that's what's up. I talked to a few graduate students today, it was kind of cool. The one girl I have a crush on in my class, the PHD student in biology, I am pretty sure has an engagement ring. Lame! Ah well, I feel like there would be a bit of language barrier anyways. I mean, I could learn Turkish, but that language is fucking hard.

Classes are going okay, although I think a few of my students have a crush on me. One of them is dropping by my office regularly, even though she is getting pretty much full marks on each assignment. Another, knows my name, says it regularly and offered to push my wheelchair to class (that's a bit weird right?). I politely declined then we had a discussion about some crazy cult leader she's been reading. I told her she should probably read something else, and recommended a few books. Hahaha, really I can't encourage someone to read stuff that makes no sense, and would probably pollute her mind.

In other news, I'm feeling good. Going to therapy regularly and trying to take charge of my health, so I'm doing physio again and preparing to move out on my own. I feel like things are progressing in a forward direction now, and it feels nice.

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