existentialsex4

Busy, busy, busy. I really haven't had any time to reflect on my feelings or my ex, perhaps I also had little time to feel sad as well. This could be a good thing, but I'm not sure yet. I started TAing a moral philosophy course this week. Things are pretty rough going. I had no idea that students entering University really know so little about moral philosophy. Really, we start with the basics of what a good argument is, not to mention we talk about what subjectivism is in conjunction with relativism. Really? Students don't know what it is for something to be subjective? What are they teaching these people?!

I wheel into class, and I feel like I'm just stumbling around, not knowing what the fuck I'm talking about. As I'm talking, I think, "this can't be right. What I'm saying at the moment is totally false." I talked about this with my professor, and she said "welcome to teaching philosophy!"

I can recall in my undergraduate days, every teacher seemed to know everything and could knock down an argument at will. Here I am, standing in front of my class, stumbling over words, backpedaling, revealing my total puzzlement about the material. Not sure which view is correct. I think my problem is trying to wing it too much. While I have notes to look off of, I try to be too informal. I need to tighten up the hinges, and make sure I present myself as someone who actually knows what he's talking about. Because, in truth, I know this stuff. I just get stymied in front of a class.

In other news, I'm learning turkish a bit. There's a turkish girl in my philosophy of science class (I detected her accent) who I have a bit of a crush on, and I want to say hello to her, and ask her how she is in her own language. Hahahaha, is this creepy or cute? I can't decide. I will attempt the "hello", tomorrow when she walks into class. Everyone else just ignores her (they are all awkward philosophy guys, so it's no surprise), so I thought I'd make her feel welcome. We'll see.