exene

Okay, so I'm gonna need some advice here. Never before have I asked for advice of any sort on the SG website, but hey, why not....It's kind of heavy, so beware. So, I am engaged to the best guy ever. We are best best friends, have great sex, do everything together, he always makes me laugh, it's great. Obviously there are a few things we could work on, but for the most part, he's my perfect match. Now here is the porblem(s)...He has 3 little kids, an ex-wife that is the spawn of Satan, and he's 12 years older than me. We were supposed to get married last Aug. but I postponed my wedding because the kids were starting to get to me, and I want to live more of my life before I become a mom. (We have the kids 55% of the time). Their mom sucks, so I do a lot of the mom stuff, and it was cool in the beginning, but now I am starting to get resentful. I always want to go out and do much more than he does, because he's already "been there and done that", but I feel like I am missing out on a huge chunk of my life if I just sit at home and make school lunches, and read books,etc...It's not that I don't love the kids, it's just such a full time job. His ex calls everyday to bitch about something, or ask for help with something, and I hate her. Not because she is his ex, but because she is a rotten person inside, and I hate the fact that I will have to have her in my life forever. And, I want 2 kids of my own someday, we are having so much trouble with his 3 already ( financially and emotionally), how the hell could we add 2 more to the mix and stay sane. But, I love my fiance so so so much, and I can't think of being without him. But I can't think of having all this baggage in my life forever either. But he is my bestest friend and I don't want to ever leave him, but I can't see my self staying in this situation and being happy. WHAT DO I DO???????