I haven't posted this anywhere anyone from school can read it yet, but tonight I decided that I am 100% sure I'm not going back to school this semester. I'll go back in the fall, but I've gotten to be sick mentally and physically right now to try and attempt to make it through the rest of this semester. I'm not happy, I'm not healthy, and I'm not myself and I hate it.
The plan is to stay home and really get into my doctor appointments and find a therapist/psychologist who can help me work through this crap. It's like I'm in a feedback loop at the moment: I'm sick so I get depressed, I'm depressed so I get sicker, I get sicker so I'm more depressed, I'm more depressed... You get the idea. I can't really handle it right now.
The people who are important to me will keep in contact and love me no matter what and the few I mentioned this to (right now just Kristina and Ellen) completely support my decision because they know it is best for me and have watched me deteriorate since freshman year, but most rapidly this year. I'm afraid certain people will look down upon me, but those who matter most won't mind and those who mind don't matter (thank you Dr. Suess).
I'm going back for next week and weekend in hopes of getting things together with my professors and employer and the house and then moving most of my crap out. That weekend will be my formal, and that's my last real Kappa Delta thing of the semester I'll be going to beyond Initiation (maybe), PFD, family drinks, and senior wills.
Anyways, it feels good to have gotten that out.
The plan is to stay home and really get into my doctor appointments and find a therapist/psychologist who can help me work through this crap. It's like I'm in a feedback loop at the moment: I'm sick so I get depressed, I'm depressed so I get sicker, I get sicker so I'm more depressed, I'm more depressed... You get the idea. I can't really handle it right now.
The people who are important to me will keep in contact and love me no matter what and the few I mentioned this to (right now just Kristina and Ellen) completely support my decision because they know it is best for me and have watched me deteriorate since freshman year, but most rapidly this year. I'm afraid certain people will look down upon me, but those who matter most won't mind and those who mind don't matter (thank you Dr. Suess).
I'm going back for next week and weekend in hopes of getting things together with my professors and employer and the house and then moving most of my crap out. That weekend will be my formal, and that's my last real Kappa Delta thing of the semester I'll be going to beyond Initiation (maybe), PFD, family drinks, and senior wills.
Anyways, it feels good to have gotten that out.