I want to cry alot right now. I don't feel at all like things are going as planned or as smoothly as I think they should be and that pains me a great deal.
I'm just not motivated to be here at all right now. I'm slapping on a smile when I know that's what's making things worse for me. I wish there was a...
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I'm just not motivated to be here at all right now. I'm slapping on a smile when I know that's what's making things worse for me. I wish there was a...
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Before I run out the door to my nect class in the next 5 seconds, I just wanted to make a quick observation:
While I'm very happy for all of my significant exes and their new girlfriends, it's really fucking weird that all but one set of them got together at almost the exact time Steve and I did. It's even weirder that the perpetually...
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While I'm very happy for all of my significant exes and their new girlfriends, it's really fucking weird that all but one set of them got together at almost the exact time Steve and I did. It's even weirder that the perpetually...
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yuriel:
how surreal haha
<3
my mind is spinning trying to figure it all out
<3
my mind is spinning trying to figure it all out
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
I don't know why I chose this song to identify with right now, but it just feels like how I feel. I'm in that place between me and this me that has been living here for so long. I can tell that...
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Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
I don't know why I chose this song to identify with right now, but it just feels like how I feel. I'm in that place between me and this me that has been living here for so long. I can tell that...
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I feel so insanely puney right now.
I was doing fine until last night, and now I finally am feeling the full effects of this "walking pnuemonia" bull shit. I can't breathe through my nose, I'm weezing and can feel it (normally can't), I have that "asthma" cough going on, and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.
Too bad it's...
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I was doing fine until last night, and now I finally am feeling the full effects of this "walking pnuemonia" bull shit. I can't breathe through my nose, I'm weezing and can feel it (normally can't), I have that "asthma" cough going on, and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.
Too bad it's...
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I'm angry. Really fucking angry.
It's just that dull kind of anger that I won't do anything about.
I'm afraid to do anything about.
If I address the situation head-on, I'm going to yell, and that's no good at all.
I just want things to figure themselves out.
God dammit, Steve! Why are you so ignorant to what's going on? Huh?
Why are you so...
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It's just that dull kind of anger that I won't do anything about.
I'm afraid to do anything about.
If I address the situation head-on, I'm going to yell, and that's no good at all.
I just want things to figure themselves out.
God dammit, Steve! Why are you so ignorant to what's going on? Huh?
Why are you so...
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I'm ready for my change.
This song's lyrics express pretty accurately how I feel right now. And I wanted to post the bits that made me stop and go "Wow."
"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've...
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This song's lyrics express pretty accurately how I feel right now. And I wanted to post the bits that made me stop and go "Wow."
"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've...
Read More
Did someone out there decide that they liked the Evy enough to buy her a new subscription for some unspecified amount of time, or something? I mean, I'm not supposed to be active anymore because I sure as hell didn't repurchase it.
*shrugs*
Anyways, I wanted to let you all know that I made it through my first day of classes alive, as stressful as...
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*shrugs*
Anyways, I wanted to let you all know that I made it through my first day of classes alive, as stressful as...
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I liked my comment and wanted to save it for myself. You don't really need to read it.
"I couldn't agree with you more. I think sex is a very important part of a healthy relationship for people of our age and persuasion. I'm not saying that you have to have it in order to have a healthy relationship, but you need to talk about...
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"I couldn't agree with you more. I think sex is a very important part of a healthy relationship for people of our age and persuasion. I'm not saying that you have to have it in order to have a healthy relationship, but you need to talk about...
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user209834982:
thanks for the comment on my set! 
New Year's Eve just got more interesting. Apparently, my dad almost died.
I don't know what to do with myself right now. I've spent so very much time hating my dad and being angry at him and doubting him and not trusting him that as soon as I hear he has to be admitted to the hospital my first response is always, "He's drinking again....
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I don't know what to do with myself right now. I've spent so very much time hating my dad and being angry at him and doubting him and not trusting him that as soon as I hear he has to be admitted to the hospital my first response is always, "He's drinking again....
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pinkily:
I'm sorry honey. 
But it doesn't make you a terrible person for thinking certain things, or feeling a certain way when you hear news that you think is going to be something you're used to. I know exactly how you feel--because I've been there. You can't help the fact that you have a very fragile trust system with your dad--and you can't help it if you tend to be suspicous when you you think that trust has been broken. Its just a typical reaction. When you hear something over and over again, and finally start to build trust, as you have in the past, you try to prepare yourself for another let down. That's all you did.
As far as what happened to your father--he is awesome for helping out a couple that was being mugged. If he is willing to do that for complete strangers, just imagine what he would do for his own children. He is obviously a great man who just needs a little help in certain aspects of his life. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
But it doesn't make you a terrible person for thinking certain things, or feeling a certain way when you hear news that you think is going to be something you're used to. I know exactly how you feel--because I've been there. You can't help the fact that you have a very fragile trust system with your dad--and you can't help it if you tend to be suspicous when you you think that trust has been broken. Its just a typical reaction. When you hear something over and over again, and finally start to build trust, as you have in the past, you try to prepare yourself for another let down. That's all you did.
As far as what happened to your father--he is awesome for helping out a couple that was being mugged. If he is willing to do that for complete strangers, just imagine what he would do for his own children. He is obviously a great man who just needs a little help in certain aspects of his life. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
pinkily:
eh...if I put myself in her shoes, I probably wouldn't be very happy if a friend of mine "persued" someone that I myself had a thing for at one time. Whether it was serious or not.
But who knows.
Maybe he'll show up for some more darts next week
But who knows.
Maybe he'll show up for some more darts next week
Well, nothing too terribly exciting has happened since my surgery since I'm not really allowed to do much of anything. Honestly, they have me being on as close to bed rest as possible without actually having to stay in bed all day. Bleh. I guess that's a good thing though since I kind of have a cold and I'm still healing and since last night...
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a_vanity:
please take care of youself, sweety. I hope that the best days of this year are your worst days of next.
punknitemike:
i must have missed it but what kind of surgery did you have?
Just dropping a line to let everyone know I survived my surgery.
I feel alot like shit right now (pain, nausea, headaches, earaches, insanely sore throat, etc.), but the doctor said I did really well and only bled a little, so I should heal really fast. He guessed about a week of feeling like shit and then magically waking up all better. However, my breath...
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I feel alot like shit right now (pain, nausea, headaches, earaches, insanely sore throat, etc.), but the doctor said I did really well and only bled a little, so I should heal really fast. He guessed about a week of feeling like shit and then magically waking up all better. However, my breath...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
pinkily:
I hope you are doing well! sucks that you had to have surgery right before Christmas though
Look fabulous on New Year's and live it up!
Look fabulous on New Year's and live it up!
corneilus_wright:
sending lots of love your way this holiday season
Steve must really like me, we just talked on the phone for almost an hour and he doesn't like or do well with phone conversations.
Granted, I had to call him, but he told me he was really glad I did and that I caught him at the perfect time. He's been busy ever since he got home and I caught him during some rare...
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Granted, I had to call him, but he told me he was really glad I did and that I caught him at the perfect time. He's been busy ever since he got home and I caught him during some rare...
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yuriel:
aww yay!
and you take care and feel good after that mess with the docs now!
and enjoy steve's company!
<3
and you take care and feel good after that mess with the docs now!
and enjoy steve's company!
<3
i hope you get a break and do well on the test too.
.....
ugh
I hate boys. Wanna join my club?
I hope things get better for you soon, hun.