evon

fuck the flu and fuck everyone at UPS who has it. EVERYONE that works in my area is sick. EVERY FUCKING BODY. They sent home over half the people that work in my area...i bet they didnt let me leave early because i called in last night. I almost called in tonight. I was feeling all good and dandy and then i get to work and its like a bomb back to being sick again. Im hopiing to god that i didnt get jack sick....if i did, i am going to feel really and i mean REALLY bad...my body aches...but come hell or high water, im getting another tattoo by the end of this month...which gives me 4 days...how nice...but i will do it with the check my dad sends....not my pitiful $112 paycheck from UPS. God i hope i get the day job at Dillards....i will work mad hours....ive got to give my mom $50 so i wil only have $60 to last me until next check. Im fucking tired of being broke. I really hope jack gets the job at UPS too....he needs a job so bad. I dont think i can take much more of supporting another person other than myself or a baby or something. I just want him to start working. Hes been without a job for too fucking long. I completely lied to him earlier today n the car. We were talking about Valentines Day and i was telling him that my mom and her beau are gong to do something special. Then i told him that my mom asked what me and jack were doing and i told her we werent doing anything. We probably wont do anything, unless i spend my money, and then it wont be anything fucking special. It would just be another gift to myself from myself, which i dont really like doing. Im a girly girl, all girls love getting flowers, candy, chocolate, and surprises on valentines day. I wish he could buy me something or at least take me out somewhere...he cant even do that. I completely lied to his face and told him that i didnt want anything for Valentines Day. God i really do though. Ive nver gotten anything on valentines day from a significant other. I mean ive gotten things from my dad and fam and friends, but nothing from a significant other. Mostly because ivenot really dated anyone on that holiday. *sighs* it seems im fighting an uphill battle. I told jack that so he wouldnt feel bad. Because i know he already feels bad about not having a job...at least thats what he said last time we talked. You know, things havent really changed from the last time we had that big fight. Everything is the same...but im going to let it ride for a few more weeks or so and then bring it up again....*sighs* i dont know our fate, i wish i did....im trying my damndest, but that doesnt seem to be getting me anywhere....i just wish things went smooth with us, for a little while at least....on a good note, i might have a gig dancing at a few clubs around the area. Ive got to meet up with the promoter in a day or two and then we will know where and all that fun stuff....