evilmonkeymuffin

LIAR!


I'm still stupid sleepy from the trip.
Several well meaning bone heads have told me I should expect it to take a month for me to fully bounce back.


The hell with that.


I have the cure.


I'll be posting more pics from the trip soon, so check the folder.


According the folks in Scotland. This is my family Tartan.


Now, a lot of people make a big fuss about their tartan. Especially descendants of Scots trying to cling to a borrowed identity.
I heard a funny story while I was there.

Following the last Jacobite rebellion, in an effort to put down the Highlanders several goofy laws were passed by the English King.
No one shall speak Gaelic.
No one shall carry weapons in the highlands.
No one shall wear tartan.

If you were caught in violation of these laws you would be hung. Not surprisingly this didn't really prevent the Highlanders from going on existing as a culture. It took bribing the land owners to finally put the Highlanders down.
The Lords were offered a sheep for every Highlander they produced for deportation. As a result there are 20 million decendants of Scots living in Canada, Australia and South Africa: 4 times as many people than live in Scotland today.



It took 40 years for these laws to be lifted and it was because of Sir Walter Scott that this was so.
He managed to arrange for Scotlands first Royal visit in 120 years by inviting the newly crowned King George to visit his subjects up north.

He persuaded the King to appear in full Highland dress, which effectively lifted the restriction.

Sir Walter visited all the Highland clan leaders and told them to get their tartans and come to the capital to see the king.

Most of them, of course didn't have tartans to wear, so they went to the only mill left in Scotland, Wilson and Wilson, were they were legal to make.

Wilson and Wilson were brothers, immigrated from Poland. They changed their name to sound more like the locals.
They had the contract with the army to make the Highland Regimental Tartan, which was the only one permited by the crown.



Suddenly they are besieged by great hairy redheads, running out of the hills, shouting, "I need MacDonald Tartan! I'm going to see the King!"

However, after 40 years, no one really knew what the tartans looked like anymore. The Wilsons, not to overlook an opportunity to make shit loads of money said, "Sure, no problem. Got some right here. Just like you remember it, isn't it?"

The highlanders, unable to correct them, bought up tonnes of tartan of 100's of varieties, so they could be dressed appropriately to see the king.

There are 4000 registered tartans today. Only 1000 are what are known as the ancient tartans. Those that survived the ban and could be copied.
The other 3000 are the invention of 2 resourceful Poles.



The easiest way to tell the age of a tartan is the colours. The ancient Highlanders only had 4 dyes. Brown, blue, green and orange.

Anything containing any other colour is a modern tartan.
Nothing to be ashamed of, but not quite authentic.



Hope you all have a grand week!