evillord

Why am I still here? I don't mean SG either I mean life. I will be honest here, I was planning on killing myself on my Birthday, which was Sept 29th. I didn't get one bday comment on here... But for some reason I couldn't do it. I chickened out.

I want to move out of PA and start a new life. I even have a job I can transfer with and they have many locations. I work for Lowe's. So if I were to move I'd have a job. I jsut want to move somewhere where I'd know at least one person. This way they could tell me what's what and tell me where everything is. Someone to introduce me to the area and some people.

But no one will. Why? Cause I am being told that I am crazy. A psycho, a future serial killer. Man, they don't know me. How can they say that and mean it? I'm just a depressed individual. I would never even thin about hurting let alone killing anyone. So maybe I should stop this so called demon inside of me. How do I do that? Simple, I end... me. I already know of so many people that would be much happier without me. I know of 2 people who will benefit greatly cause they will be getting some money from my life insurance. So why shouldn't I? I'm in constant pain physically and mentally. My body hurts so much. I'm also so lonely. I can't stand my life anymore. I'm trying to change, I'm trying to better my life but no one wants to help me do so.

So is this goodbye forever? Maybe... I just don't know...