Oh no, they're changing up the format again! As if I am not confused enough with everything else in my lilfe, now this?!?!?! help!!!!
Today is my husbands birthday. He would not let me do a thing for him. Not dinner, not a movie, not a gift, not anything. A think this is so wierd, and I know he is going to throw it back in my face later as some sort of odd passive agressive thing. I am going grocery shopping later and I AM getting a small cake and I AM getting a card and I am getting him flowers or something and I am forcing them on him. I tried to get a babysitter for tomorrow night so that I could take him for Thai Food and to see Blades of Glory and he refused. WTF???
Other than the fact that our relationship is really bad right now and we fight every single day and things suck... it's his birthday.
So yeah, things still suck. I'm taking anxiety pills like they are Altoids and trying to avoid conflict like it is the plaque. But it's not working. It just keeps popping up like my shadow.
I have no immunity to this anymore. I am afraid I am going to have to close up shop and go away for a while to regain my strength and sanity... for I feel like a wraith.
My OB/GYN put my on new pills to help with the PMS/PMDD or whateverthefuckitis.... maybe this will help... but I can't escape the constancy of living with someone who just constantly jabs at me and makes me feel like shit.
I want to try to make it work, but I am so tired. And getting more and more depressed. I feel like I have to go away to save what little sanity and strength I have left. I feel like the fight in me is leaving.
I need to get back my "fight". Because it's just seeping out of me day by day and nothing seems to recharge it.
I don't know if I need a slap in the face or a hug.
Today is my husbands birthday. He would not let me do a thing for him. Not dinner, not a movie, not a gift, not anything. A think this is so wierd, and I know he is going to throw it back in my face later as some sort of odd passive agressive thing. I am going grocery shopping later and I AM getting a small cake and I AM getting a card and I am getting him flowers or something and I am forcing them on him. I tried to get a babysitter for tomorrow night so that I could take him for Thai Food and to see Blades of Glory and he refused. WTF???
Other than the fact that our relationship is really bad right now and we fight every single day and things suck... it's his birthday.
So yeah, things still suck. I'm taking anxiety pills like they are Altoids and trying to avoid conflict like it is the plaque. But it's not working. It just keeps popping up like my shadow.
I have no immunity to this anymore. I am afraid I am going to have to close up shop and go away for a while to regain my strength and sanity... for I feel like a wraith.
My OB/GYN put my on new pills to help with the PMS/PMDD or whateverthefuckitis.... maybe this will help... but I can't escape the constancy of living with someone who just constantly jabs at me and makes me feel like shit.
I want to try to make it work, but I am so tired. And getting more and more depressed. I feel like I have to go away to save what little sanity and strength I have left. I feel like the fight in me is leaving.
I need to get back my "fight". Because it's just seeping out of me day by day and nothing seems to recharge it.
I don't know if I need a slap in the face or a hug.
Good luck with all of this.
xoxo