everafter

Days go bye when I am happy, life is good and I laugh, and then slowly the death begins to creep into my mind. I begin to die on the inside, but rather than fight death, I welcome it. I invite it into my mind with a desire to go deeper and deeper into my own darkness. It smells so sweet to me and feels as if I am returning home to where I belong. This is the real me, not that happy person. Why do you take so long to overcome me? Why must I wait for your arms to envelop me until I lie in my bed crying for mercy and the thoughts of my own demise permeate my existence? Shall I suffer longer in these days of limbo? Still, a whisper tells me to survive. It tells me to reject deaths arms and return to the world of light. The light hurts my eyes
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Kinda feel like shit today. In just about every way. Why?