eventide

glance on an ocean ferry


i'm changing my colors
no more pastels -- les couleurs vive!
accented with grey, like ash.
reminder of what i was.

my new language is french.
i wear sunglasses, drink wine, smoke cigarettes.
i have the best fucking french teacher in the world you know.
only she doesnt, at least not with me.
and the really funny part is i love it.

ocean ferry,
wind and sun
time of change,
yes, its incredibly good!
the endless teasing, the incremental steps
she is the architect.
"we'll see", is all she ever admits
so much depends on this blue sea
sparkling with sunlight

and meanwhile in the back of my mind,
i keep thinking about the lace underware
i know she is wearing
just as i know that she will not sleep with me tonight

Everything is on its head! we never hold hands
we have never kissed.
i know it sounds like i am in love,
and i am,
though i know that we are not.
and the really cool thing is that
it seems perfect. like zen. this is not an affair,
its work!
its a job!

all of life's dreams and uncertainties
come into clear relief
with _this_
and every time our eyes meet.
which is often.