eventide

drink something strong. go running. fuck someone.
fall in love. change everything. should i do these things.
again? crash afterwards? again?
and where is that beautiful house and beautiful wife? the kids, the baby?
where did everyone go?

i sit alone .,., hmmm i like it alone. in zen they say to leave nothing behind. like a good bon fire, burn down to a puff of ash. thats it.

well, im on my way. i dont think anyone would come to my funeral. i mean, i wouldnt want them to anyway. Indeed, i will arrange not to even have one. i will be far away. it will be uncomplicated. who was it that walked into the sea? an artist or .,, someone.,., someone famous., just find an end. leave nothing behind. poof. : )))))
i can still smile about this.,. and will do so even as i walk into the sea. i will make a remark, witty, which no one will hear. something about the water i imagine. something she would have laughed at.
or I. a deep breath. here we go!

this is so simple,
and
neither sad nor happy . this is so important to understand.