eventide

i go studio
and work, for hours on some dumb thing
stopping sometimes to wonder at it all
and
the thing is...
whether is it art or not,
it is anyway
like water, my medium
and
when at night i feel that inspiration feeling
that so much is possible
a kind of a vision thing
-God-
well, then i know there is some sense in all these things.
do you see?
it does not, for now matter if this one
is it. the point is, it is there
in me
still.
the fire that brought me to this work
work
my life blood
hey its all i have! for now
and its ok
for now
just do it well, in my way
put together the little things i do
i know it is nothing great
usually
but you stay with it
and you do the yoga as strongly as you can
every day

today i worked with motion tracking
and tomorrow morning i will sew again
and prepare for my trip
i need new shoes

see, i am building a character

remember lou reed, when he went on the stage
how he invented himself into something
brave and strange
beautiful and in love?
well
performers can do that
you feel it inside you, you build it up, you prepare
rehearse

i worked on a 2 minute sequence today for 4 hours
and there are hours still to do, i am sure
im not complaining - i love it!
im just saying that
this is the nature of vision

details: who am i? hmmm. i am her. for one thing.
colored and colorful. artistic, secret and utopian.