eventide

morning. waiting for gabi. she joins me for zen. life is strange, isnt it? all the things that are, and werent. i think of billy in new york, with his daughter. its like, it mmight have worked. i think it might have. im not sure what i did wrong exactly. with helena especially- you think it still can? what? having offspring with someone? hm. She hates children. she says. maybe shell change. maybe everything will.
i just keep thinking of how all these artist friends MAKE- as an answer to everything. the truth is, i can sort of see that i am a better choreographer than any of them. i mean, not boasting, but looking. though ive made a lot of crap too, i know that. but i just mean, making doesnt depend on talent. ok. time to do it.