eventide

i stopped ssris!!!!! 5-Hydroxytryptamine (5-HT)
wow. free of psychotropics. sometimes i still feel them, its funny like the shadow of it remains. a fuzzy soft feeling around my skin. over my shoulder. when i turn my head slowly -- when im walking --from side to side i can feel it. maybe im feeling the natural seratonin in my brain. no idea. anyway, quite a weird journey. wonder if ill ever do it again. was it smart to do it? hm. yes. have to say it. may have saved my life - not that that is necessarily such a big deal. suicide is ok. for those that choose it. and the others- fucking have to cope. its not mean, or selfish, or wrong. its a choice - albeit a weird one. just try to leave a flower behind. like some piece of you. like art. its all anyone does.
brett is gone. long. ... of course its sad. of course its sad. ..
so in a way i am through it. zow. in a way, not, but ok. still here. day by day. you? waiting to get out of england. to create again. with tree. or h. or some-fucking-one again. there is this thing... still .. idea. for a