evebringer

i'm beginning to hate vacations. at least while school is in session i can have lots of work to do. work doesn't think i'm creepy or weird. work likes to spend lots of time with me. although work is far from affectionate.

the point is, i'm so fucking lonely right now. i spent new years in a hotel in artesia new mexico, watching myth busters with my parents. lets just say they aren't much of party animals.

but thats not the problem, its that i've finally got a serious urge to find someone i can connect with, stop being a man slut and find a girlfriend. but i can't seem to hold a woman's attention for more than 5 seconds. i've completely lost my mojo. i thought i got it back but now it seems gone again.

sure i could have tried to find a hook up while here in bum fuck desert no where. but thats not what i want, and it wouldn't be making me feel better. i'm trying to find someone to build something lasting with. i want affection and emotion. i've had so little luck find this that i've created an account at eharmony.com. thats how desperate i am now.

i worry that my desperation is showing and the ladies are being turned off by this. but idk how to remedy this.

what i need is it to be 6 months from now, and me to be living in a completely new city. then i can make new friends and make new first impressions. if i can manage not to fuck those up, who knows, maybe i can meet a nice girl who i can connect with. it doesn't seem to be happening for me right now.

btw, artesia new mexico is lacking in the forest category. i'm going to climb a tree once i get back to new york. then take a nap snuggled in between its branches. i don't care its going to be around 0 degrees. i miss trees.