Do me a square and if you haven't checked out the set i have in hopefuls, do it now. It's quickly being eclipsed by random nakedness...that's all i'll say.
So last night was like this:
Russell. Russell. Russell? Russell russelll. I could smell him when i breathed. I could feel him when i blinked. I could close my eyes and imagine the kill, could practically TASTE the dicking he would give me. I couldn't wait for him to get off work. I was utterly feral and there was nothing i could do but lay on the couch with no pants and waitwaitwait for him to get off work because he's a chef in a fine dining restaurant and it was Valentine's Day. At midnight he sent me a text saying he'd be there in twenty minutes. I sent him one saying i'd be the one asleep on the couch.
At 2 a.m. muthafucka strolls in apologizing that work kept him so incredibly late. I was the one asleep on the couch. I said it was fine, i understood. Then i snuggled him and told him he smelled like booze. He admitted to having a few drinks at work to take the edge off.
Hmmm. Shady? I am owed one deep dicking. Maybe more...
I'd like to take amoment to talk about something important, someting close to my heart. I know people yammer on and on about it but i, too, have my two cents. That's right folks, i want to talk about Britney Spears.
I think there is really nothing better in the world that could have happened than Britney Spears going completely batshit insane. And not because i think she's a bad artist. I love her music. Because it was simply fantastic. Don't get me wrong- i like her and i hope she goes all noncrazy soon and all that. But really- fantastic.
I think the reason that people are so completely fascinated by it is because it's actually a little terrifying. What's happenin here is Britney Spears is looking at us with those wide faux-British eyes and sayin 'This could happen to you.' Because apparently it can.
America has watched Britney Spears grow up in succes and affluence. She was a virginal baby-voiced crooner and the darling of the media. She had a wonderful boyfriend. She had a husband and children and the American dream and fame and when she was interviewed, well don't you know with that southern twang she sounded just like one of us!
If you think about it, Britney Spears is just like you. Only crazy.
A few months back i had a moment lik hers. I was driving to class when all of a sudden a justin timberlake song came on the radio and i thought about the new Justin Timberlake album and how i didn't own it. I thought about suddenly going to a record store and stealing it. Well, while i was doing that- why not rob the whole damn place? Not because i especially needed money or JT c.d.s but just because...well...it was a thing in the universe that could be done.
I didn't do it. But i thought about it, like REALLY thought about it. And we all have moments like this where we teeter on the edge of driving to Arabic class and committing a frivolous felony. And we pick up the magazine and look at Britney Spears and go 'Shit! She really did it. When is that going to happen to me?' And THAT is why it's so goddam interesting.
When i told a friend of my experience he suggested that maybe it's Justin Timbelake that makes girls go unflatteringly wacko. This just simply isn't true. I wish i had his life, or what i call 'the Justice of the Timberlake'.
Imagine a breakup. A public one. You were cheated on. And you think to yourself 'man, i hope something terrible happens to them someday, just so they can get their just desert'. And nothing happens. For a good while even, they seem to be doing better than you.
And then whammo! They get divorced, shave their head and wag their genitals around for the whole world to see-so much in fact that the world says 'Enough! We wanted it before but now it's too much!' What would you give for your worst ex do just go compleately fucking insane? Meanwhile, you're topping charts and putting your dick in a box and charming the whole world. I would give a lot.
Now go see me get naked for Justin Timberlake.
So last night was like this:
Russell. Russell. Russell? Russell russelll. I could smell him when i breathed. I could feel him when i blinked. I could close my eyes and imagine the kill, could practically TASTE the dicking he would give me. I couldn't wait for him to get off work. I was utterly feral and there was nothing i could do but lay on the couch with no pants and waitwaitwait for him to get off work because he's a chef in a fine dining restaurant and it was Valentine's Day. At midnight he sent me a text saying he'd be there in twenty minutes. I sent him one saying i'd be the one asleep on the couch.
At 2 a.m. muthafucka strolls in apologizing that work kept him so incredibly late. I was the one asleep on the couch. I said it was fine, i understood. Then i snuggled him and told him he smelled like booze. He admitted to having a few drinks at work to take the edge off.
Hmmm. Shady? I am owed one deep dicking. Maybe more...
I'd like to take amoment to talk about something important, someting close to my heart. I know people yammer on and on about it but i, too, have my two cents. That's right folks, i want to talk about Britney Spears.
I think there is really nothing better in the world that could have happened than Britney Spears going completely batshit insane. And not because i think she's a bad artist. I love her music. Because it was simply fantastic. Don't get me wrong- i like her and i hope she goes all noncrazy soon and all that. But really- fantastic.
I think the reason that people are so completely fascinated by it is because it's actually a little terrifying. What's happenin here is Britney Spears is looking at us with those wide faux-British eyes and sayin 'This could happen to you.' Because apparently it can.
America has watched Britney Spears grow up in succes and affluence. She was a virginal baby-voiced crooner and the darling of the media. She had a wonderful boyfriend. She had a husband and children and the American dream and fame and when she was interviewed, well don't you know with that southern twang she sounded just like one of us!
If you think about it, Britney Spears is just like you. Only crazy.
A few months back i had a moment lik hers. I was driving to class when all of a sudden a justin timberlake song came on the radio and i thought about the new Justin Timberlake album and how i didn't own it. I thought about suddenly going to a record store and stealing it. Well, while i was doing that- why not rob the whole damn place? Not because i especially needed money or JT c.d.s but just because...well...it was a thing in the universe that could be done.
I didn't do it. But i thought about it, like REALLY thought about it. And we all have moments like this where we teeter on the edge of driving to Arabic class and committing a frivolous felony. And we pick up the magazine and look at Britney Spears and go 'Shit! She really did it. When is that going to happen to me?' And THAT is why it's so goddam interesting.
When i told a friend of my experience he suggested that maybe it's Justin Timbelake that makes girls go unflatteringly wacko. This just simply isn't true. I wish i had his life, or what i call 'the Justice of the Timberlake'.
Imagine a breakup. A public one. You were cheated on. And you think to yourself 'man, i hope something terrible happens to them someday, just so they can get their just desert'. And nothing happens. For a good while even, they seem to be doing better than you.
And then whammo! They get divorced, shave their head and wag their genitals around for the whole world to see-so much in fact that the world says 'Enough! We wanted it before but now it's too much!' What would you give for your worst ex do just go compleately fucking insane? Meanwhile, you're topping charts and putting your dick in a box and charming the whole world. I would give a lot.
Now go see me get naked for Justin Timberlake.
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Off to check out your smashing body in hopefuls now.
xo