evangelin

ok...I did my first video w/my webcam. Not the greatest and I did take learnings. Now I am obsessed with making a movie, because I have this program that -well, makes movies. Not freaking easy, and not for the A.D.D. I will learn how to make a movie!!!!

We took the kid trick or treating for hours around my neighborhood College Park. I love it here, but not enough to stay. ..... Made many great contacts this week on LinkedIN including some recruiters at the three companies I've been researching. I'm impressed with myself.

Found my bitch Jocelyn. She and her hubby and kids are living in Burbank. she made an impromptu departure back in April from Florida to L.A. Went on holiday, discussed with hubby-they quit jobs, packed up the kids and said fuck it let's go. Didn't have jobs lined up nor had they secured a place to live. SO very unlike her, but she wants to be a costume designer and figuered now or never and I love her hubby for being down for that. THAT was impressive. My girl was gone though before we could exchange contact info and we'd been acquainted through business. Then BAM right there on Linkedin and that nut is so waiting for me to bring my happy ass out there........i'm getting excited!!!!

Spoke to my dad today and it was great. I called him as he'd been on my mind for like two weeks and i've been having fucked up visions of him dying. Waking visions of him just not being here anymore. Last nights was pretty scarey and caused me to hyperventilate a bit, first time ever that we both kinda opened up and laughed and shared and were just at ease with one another. We have alot more in common then I have ever cared to think. And he is an Aquarius so we are both kinda fucked up in other people's peception I would imagine....Whatever It was what I needed. Let go of some of that bitterness I've held onto for so long. Not worth it, i'm starting a new life-I can't take old hurts into that. Tossed the 610 phone. i kept it originally to keep in touch with my Philly friends and Joe's family. Then I kept it so that I would have a backup phone and contact list in case anything happened to this phone. But mostly I kept it because I was trying to break free of Joe and I knew that i'd have to work that bandage off slow or it was going to cause 10x the original damage. So i never gave him my 407. The last voicemail I got the day i found out he died. i checked that voicemail for his sisters message. which wasn't there and got one he'd left months earlier. It was bad-I love you always will, i'm sorry and I can't do life anymore I'm tired and I'm not going to be here tomorrow.... again it was months later and he didn't quite go that way. we're not sure exactly what happened...he didn't consciously choose it though....SO I RAN THROUGH THE CONTACTS AND ANYONE I MISSED -NOT MEANT TO GO FORWARD WITH. I TOSSED THAT BITCH CHARGER EVERYTHING INTO THE GARBAGE AND THERE IS NO RETRIEVEL.

Let go and move on at any cost.....I deserve that for myself. i deserve alot for myself ....Today was good here are some pics

[/SPOILER]
That was at brunch last week. The horse kept licking and sucking on my arm??? Must like Lush

[/SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]
This is by far my favorite spooky house ever. I was running last week and saw them DIG the yard to drop a casket They like some halloween

[/SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]
And that's all folks..Hope everyone had a safe and fun time and have a great weekend. I'm going for something yummy to snack on, a cocktail, a smoke and a scarey movie!!!

PSS- I Love Portishead and this had to have been an amazing show to experiance live in NYC. The passion and intensity are spell binding. You can almost feel the cry for change......God I love music...the pulse of life, the heartbeat of the soul...........