My tummy hurts. Still layin in bed, I feel like hell...but Indian food and the social are calling this evening so .....I better get over it. I don't think I've taken my vitamins in a few days.Possibly alcohol poisoning.......or it could really just be that my life is on autopilot right now-and someone has blindfolded me and taken me on a very dangerous journey.....that's what happens when your heart runs away in rebellious bliss with your soul.
Reality is the worried mother who doesn't know what to do, fearful-hopeful......pissed,confused-reminiscent on the how and the why. Caught up in the intangibles. Nothing is tangible here. Rhyme and reason have left the building and there is just this -Halo. Cloud. Peace. Safety.Love. Only i can see it, I think only me-maybe i'm wrong, maybe he realy does too. All I do know is what I feel and what I want. 4am wake up calls,the desperation/anger? and the hang up. This heavy feeling in me all weekend. Like angst. Like I am apart of something ....huge,troubling. Deeper than I can imagine-the worst sleep ever and my stomach is just jammed up.....and that 4am call.........and no response.........and I have No control, and that is my biggest fear realized. in this moment in my life-all will be as it should irregardless of my thoughts. I am removed and simply waiting on the next episode.
Stay tuned.......
Indian is probably not the best thing for my tummy right now.Charcoal tabs......and a hot lush bath-maybe a bit of fruit and clearly I need to drink water. Get myself pretty......cry in my jasmine rice while unleashing this beast I just don't understand and can't control. My poor Mary. That's what good friends are for. No alcohol tonight! Maybe a glass or two of wine......maybe.
Reality is the worried mother who doesn't know what to do, fearful-hopeful......pissed,confused-reminiscent on the how and the why. Caught up in the intangibles. Nothing is tangible here. Rhyme and reason have left the building and there is just this -Halo. Cloud. Peace. Safety.Love. Only i can see it, I think only me-maybe i'm wrong, maybe he realy does too. All I do know is what I feel and what I want. 4am wake up calls,the desperation/anger? and the hang up. This heavy feeling in me all weekend. Like angst. Like I am apart of something ....huge,troubling. Deeper than I can imagine-the worst sleep ever and my stomach is just jammed up.....and that 4am call.........and no response.........and I have No control, and that is my biggest fear realized. in this moment in my life-all will be as it should irregardless of my thoughts. I am removed and simply waiting on the next episode.
Stay tuned.......
Indian is probably not the best thing for my tummy right now.Charcoal tabs......and a hot lush bath-maybe a bit of fruit and clearly I need to drink water. Get myself pretty......cry in my jasmine rice while unleashing this beast I just don't understand and can't control. My poor Mary. That's what good friends are for. No alcohol tonight! Maybe a glass or two of wine......maybe.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
lizaeth:
Hey there lady. Hope you are feeling better by now.
alisa:
thank you. i'm so excited that everything is going so much better than i thought. everything is working out really well. i'm just trying to take it easy and still get everything ready.