eurisko

well my thoughts in the past few days has become a bit more important than charles manson and oranges... so, you guessed it... update time.

in the past few months i have been in this odd frame of mind where i am just constantly weaving in and out of feelings of unhappiness and isolation. but why?

i am unhappy where i am at in life, and i dont like my schooling situation, and in the past year all of my friends moved to california, except 1... and i feel like he cant really relate to me, but rather sticks with me since he is pretty much in the same situation.

then there is a girl ive recently been talking to and getting to know better... and she, like me is rather shy, and she is artsy... so im somewhat afraid of that situation because im afraid i might get to close and end up getting hurt (insert story of my life)

anyways, all of my feelings aside, i was helping my mom out the other day... and out of no where she just decides to tell me that if i wanted, she would pay for me to go to school in california, i would just have to get a decent amount of money saved up and then find a job and apartment...

so yeah.... i dont know what to do. my mom knows that i sacrificed when in came to college, i decided going somewhere i knew they could afford instead of where i wanted, and i dont want to make this big decision and then feel bad about it after the fact while my parents struggle to pay for it.