ether_medius

Argh.

I'm trying to tell myself that I suck and I shouldn't call myself an artist.

But I know that tomorrow I might not believe it.

I just wish I would stop.

Sheesh.

My sister is being a boring poo poo head.

Someone tell her to not stay at home while her boyfriend goes out to play poker. She should be coming to hang out with me for a bit. It's been a while. And she has stuff here I want her to take back.

My apartment is cluttery.

Either way, I think I'll be doing something with...
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The sky just keeps falling on me.

At least someone is trying to hold it up with me. I may despise the human race from time to time and I may disagree with the idiots in charge, but being alone gets tired. Becomes tiring.

The irony is that getting out becomes exhausting.

Got to stop being sucked into myself. Stop letting my problems throw the...
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So I'm finally back from holiday getaways... and I don't want to be here already. I was a good escape -- but it's like returning to do dirty dishes.

At least I was able to forget about my problems for a while and live in an imaginary world where I belonged to some sort of family that lived without a care. Like the ones on...
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I'm surviving the holidays thus far...

but I just spent more money than I thought I would on art supplies. Guess this means no gym membership for me this winter.

Unless someone wants to make me fabulously rich.

Yay.

Much against my will, I'm going to spend christmas with my mother. She pulled the, "this might be my last christmas" card on me.

Oh.. but I did see Phantom of the Opera (the film) last night. Wow. It was my adolecent fantasy and obsession, but I never got to see the play. I just got all the merch from the people I knew who...
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So for the first time I was totally hit with a big does of negative ego vibes. Which kind of suck as I've only developed a conscious sense of my ego over the past couple years for certain reasons known only to a select few.

Anyhow -- I was suddenly worried that everything I make.. sucks. In a really bad way. It's not that I've...
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Flash is making me happy, but the lack of inspiration is driving me crazy.

It's killing my faith in everything I create.

I want to give up, but this is no time for it.

I just need to find some strength somewhere.

I need a new monitor and I'm never colouring my illustrations in Fireworks again. Macromedia can kiss my ass... except I'm liking Flash -- definitely a good investment there.

I've spent far too much time on a single illustration already. I finally finish colouring it in Fireworks and go to export it to Photoshop for touching up and effects... only to find that Fireworks sucks...
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