eterpay

Don't you just hate those days where everything seems so bland? I found out today that I've been lied to by my child's mother... all along. She doesn't take proper care of him. She won't help provide for him. She wants a free ride, and won't work. I've been taken for a boob. Not that boobs are bad. In fact they are quite good.

But, that still doesn't explain the reason for this. I didn't even find out that he was alive until he was 10 months old. I finally met him 5 weeks ago. He's 18 months old now. My chest grew 3 sizes when I saw him. My little dude. My hombresito.

What do I do? How do I make sure that my son isn't privy to her every twist and turn from sanity to paranoia. Everyone else has to change, not her. I've tried to help her. When her father "threw her out of the house", I flew to Washington, and moved her to my family's house, until I can get back to San Diego to get a place for all of us to live together. I spoke with her father today... and her sister. She left on her own accord. Nobody threw her out. I've been taken for a fool, yet again.

For my son's sake, I was going to try and make things work between the two of us. So he could have a mommy and a daddy. She doesn't want that. She said that she did, but she doesn't. She won't even try.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get custody. I don't know how to deal with her. I've had to talk her through her "panic attacks" for the past three days. I feel tired. I feel drained. I'm tired.

So, that's that. This is the only place that she can't read my journal. She doesn't even know this place exists.

Is there something that I can do? I don't think that I'll ever know.