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esmee

Member Since 2003

Followers 26 Following 10

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Tuesday Dec 16, 2003

Dec 16, 2003
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theres something deeply satisfying about wanting something or someone you can't have. its almost better than having the thing or the person themselves...
Its like all the potential, all of what "could be, if only" is spun up into a sugar coated ball hanging over your head. anticipation is sweet, so why is reality so often at odds with fantasy life...

my head feels like its stuffed with pillows today. the combination of alka seltzer cold plus and weed is pretty nice, vaguely reminiscent of heroin but without all the itching and puking which were really the main deal breakers in all my college experimenting with h...i did like the idea of it but it just never stuck which is good now that i look back on it.

speaking of cold medicine and college, there was one night when i was up at 4 am, strung out from weeks of doing nothing but inhaling meth and staring into space. i was sitting in front of my rickety old computer playing solitaire when i heard my suitemate go into the bathroom and shut the door. she was in there for a very long time. the way the rooms were set up, it was two bedrooms with a bathroom suspended in between and called suites..so.
after a long time i heard a loud thump followed by rustling and then silence. i supposed, correctly, as it turned out that she had fallen down and was laying there. so in my logic i said to myself well if she doesn't move soon i'll find out whats wrong.
as it turned out, i found out the next day, she had drank a bottle of Robitussin and was laying on the bathroom floor "staring into a tunnel of death".
ah memories
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
throatneedle:
It's fucking sad but I still see my friends doing 'the nod' on a daily basis, except now it's in pill form. I used to do ALOT of acid back in high school and some 'dust' but I never got into the hard-core addictive shit. Almost every girl I've known has either been into meth/coke at one time. You LOVE it!

So how is the super fake world of South Beach treating you?
How many guys on rollerblades wearing only cut-off jean shorts did you see today?
Dec 16, 2003
iamtony:
you never told us what it is that you want but you cant have? sounds like you did college up the right way! what do you do in sunny fla now that you are all grown up? how's it going w/ the boy?
never did meth myself, but i had my dependancy problems in my early 20's w/ yayoo. dont do it any more. i am only able to sleep 3 or 4 hours a night w/ out doin it, if i were to do it again fagetaboutit. biggrin . i have never did h but would really like to try it some time. as you get to be my age you dont really get chances to try new drugs anymore.
Dec 16, 2003

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