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esme

Chicago

Member Since 2004

Followers 159 Following 121

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Wednesday Sep 08, 2004

Sep 8, 2004
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Fuck it. Seriously. Fuck it to hell. Fuck people fucking subscribing to this site so that they can fucking stalk me because I don't respond to their email about how they have "feelings" for me. Fuck me being asked to apologize for seeing more than one person. Fuck me for being asked to apologize for fucking more than person. Fuck me for being in love and deciding I don't want to see anyone else. Fuck everyone else for thinking they have a right to criticize me for any of the above.
Edited to include the following:
I know it's total bullshit for me to copy this into here, and I'll probably regret it ina couple hours and go back & delete it, but for now, here goes. It's an email from the second, yes, SECOND person to join SG because of me--not because they think it's cool, but because they think that because I choose to spend more time socializing here than emailing them, that somehow being here will give them an "in" on my love and/or attention. This email came after the one where he told me that he joined (and has since left) SG so that he can find out what's going on in my life since I obviously don't share to a sufficient degree. (but he's "not a snoop.") I wrote back to say "fuck it. I give up." and then, THIS:

>>Do not write me at this address again - I have like 3 gmail accounts
and if I get another email from you I will delete this account all
together. I took your # out of my phone and I do not have it written
down anywhere.

I can't believe that was all you had to say - honestly I was surprised
you wrote that - none of those emails were designed for a reply but it
is typical - think the amount of words (coming from a writer) you have
written to me since I talked to you in July would add up to to less
than what I have written so far.

Just stay away from me Clare - I am serious and I hope for your sake
you grow up at some point. Got to know who you are inside before you
can know what love is. I am no prude but I don't believe in the
lifestyle you are living. I think it is artificial and it is selfish.
Easier to hurt than it is to give I guess.

As for your art - you have to earn the lifestyle of an artist by
actually focusing and doing the work and not hanging with "trendy"
people and talking the talk in all the right spots to be seen at. The
life you are living will eventually replace that creative side of you
- you use it or lose it. Why I don't rule my life with sex - it is a
destructive path and i think you know deep down that as casual and as
trendy as you are trying to live, you obviously are not any happier
as a person. That is up to you and no one else.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
cat:
wow. holy judgmental. you're right. FUCK HIM. let him go sulk off into the oblivion that is an overly critical person's pergatory and forget all about it honey. wink
let's go see a movie next weekend, maybe next Saturday, with some of the gang......
ps. thanks for the music ideas, gonna go check em out now.

[Edited on Sep 09, 2004 1:50PM]
Sep 9, 2004
x:
cool.. what was your major? my site is www.digitaldavid.com if you really want to see...
Sep 9, 2004

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