Seems that I have lost my way a little but not really. Have I? Have I truly veered or have I been walking along my life's path as planed. What I do know is that I feel right and that means things are as they should be. Why so much sadness, sorrow, and hurt. These were experiences that I had to experience accept them, damn it. So, I have and now I sit. I am glad that I have. Oh thank you to the ones and things that have caused these things in my life. I am becoming a man, a better sword. The recent events that have happened to me this past year, with family, love relationships, etc. have been painful but don't forget the good. Can't forget about those times, but the bad is what I must cleanse from the system to find my peace. The hardest is to accept, forgive, and subside. Even harder is to accept and forgive your self the same for your bad parts in it all. In the end all is good once you really calm down take a step back with your self and think about it.
As summer closes I am starting to analyze all of it as you can see. I sit there in the coffee shop doing homework, studying that gear in the back of my head the one that is always working in the background analyzing my life is crunching all this info and emotions in overdrive. The positive stress of full time school and full time job is not reeking havoc with my set routine of before but has enhanced it and is making me dance to a frequency that I love. I am awaken, don't want to slumber hide, cower or sleep anymore just to pass another day. I felt these feelings of sadness, anger as of late ENOUGH is enough. I sat in a dormant state just getting by and taking it, just taking all the blows or just hiding from them, ups and downs. The dragon is not as scary as they said it was and now I truly see. I had a glimpse at the beginning of this summer but now I see it all. What has happened to me is what makes the steel into a great sword. I now say and understand that, feel it. Bending, folding, hot, cold, hot, cold, bend, fold, beat, slam, beat, pound, sparks, heat again, POUND! Steam it's almost done and finally cool again. These have been my emotional feeling as of late. I am starting to feel the cool breeze in the air and its not so suffocating hot anymore the sword smith is almost done for this phase. The peace that I set out to seek at the beginning of this summer is finally being felt in the chaos of school, work and life's everyday s of today. Thank you but there is still a little more am I ready for the polish yet? Then comes the hilt to handle, decorations and finally sheath, off to the master.... Oh I still have a long way to go.
But for now, if there were really a heaven you'd think it's breeze would have escaped and found me just for a moment. That moment is now as I write this, clarity is getting a little better. It's beautiful and I really think my first step was Japan that set aim but I was still stumbling. I have stabilized since then a little and now I have been released from the bow. Perhaps its that I'm once again using this muscle up stairs between my ears, behind my eyes again for more than just to do my every day job, play the video games and search for ufo/conspiracies. Maybe the sweet nectar of coffee from the coffee shops I now partake in are awakening me like a Folger's commercial. Is it all the people around me seeking knowledge on a daily bases influencing my being having heightened my scenes to myself saying wake up. I analyze all this as I write and I feel like its a message of maturing, growing up in a way emotionally but hell no the child inside is never going to be put to sleep. Those emotions are an always. This is all different what has happened to me something else I needed to realize and work on and now I see. I can still keep all that I was, the fantasy, daydreaming, adventures. I now just have a stronger presence and balance with myself emotionally. SO hello Esca, HEY, hey, like the fairy in Zelda.... Wake up and go forth, Your ready to begin your long awaited journey, you're not all there jet but experience along the will get you there. I am stumbling a bit from this sleep but sure as hell better than what I was doing sleeping there in that awful dream and that is what counts.
Esca
333 gil
1333 exp
1 potion
1 coffee cup
1 Japanese 101 book
Need to remember what I said in this video a while back thats all...
As summer closes I am starting to analyze all of it as you can see. I sit there in the coffee shop doing homework, studying that gear in the back of my head the one that is always working in the background analyzing my life is crunching all this info and emotions in overdrive. The positive stress of full time school and full time job is not reeking havoc with my set routine of before but has enhanced it and is making me dance to a frequency that I love. I am awaken, don't want to slumber hide, cower or sleep anymore just to pass another day. I felt these feelings of sadness, anger as of late ENOUGH is enough. I sat in a dormant state just getting by and taking it, just taking all the blows or just hiding from them, ups and downs. The dragon is not as scary as they said it was and now I truly see. I had a glimpse at the beginning of this summer but now I see it all. What has happened to me is what makes the steel into a great sword. I now say and understand that, feel it. Bending, folding, hot, cold, hot, cold, bend, fold, beat, slam, beat, pound, sparks, heat again, POUND! Steam it's almost done and finally cool again. These have been my emotional feeling as of late. I am starting to feel the cool breeze in the air and its not so suffocating hot anymore the sword smith is almost done for this phase. The peace that I set out to seek at the beginning of this summer is finally being felt in the chaos of school, work and life's everyday s of today. Thank you but there is still a little more am I ready for the polish yet? Then comes the hilt to handle, decorations and finally sheath, off to the master.... Oh I still have a long way to go.
But for now, if there were really a heaven you'd think it's breeze would have escaped and found me just for a moment. That moment is now as I write this, clarity is getting a little better. It's beautiful and I really think my first step was Japan that set aim but I was still stumbling. I have stabilized since then a little and now I have been released from the bow. Perhaps its that I'm once again using this muscle up stairs between my ears, behind my eyes again for more than just to do my every day job, play the video games and search for ufo/conspiracies. Maybe the sweet nectar of coffee from the coffee shops I now partake in are awakening me like a Folger's commercial. Is it all the people around me seeking knowledge on a daily bases influencing my being having heightened my scenes to myself saying wake up. I analyze all this as I write and I feel like its a message of maturing, growing up in a way emotionally but hell no the child inside is never going to be put to sleep. Those emotions are an always. This is all different what has happened to me something else I needed to realize and work on and now I see. I can still keep all that I was, the fantasy, daydreaming, adventures. I now just have a stronger presence and balance with myself emotionally. SO hello Esca, HEY, hey, like the fairy in Zelda.... Wake up and go forth, Your ready to begin your long awaited journey, you're not all there jet but experience along the will get you there. I am stumbling a bit from this sleep but sure as hell better than what I was doing sleeping there in that awful dream and that is what counts.
Esca
333 gil
1333 exp
1 potion
1 coffee cup
1 Japanese 101 book
Need to remember what I said in this video a while back thats all...
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
hedy:
happy birthday
foi:
That was beautiful. I love your hair!!