eruvande

Thanks to everyone who gave their support after Oreo passed away, it was really appreciated.



My journals never seem to be about happy things, I promise next time I will try and make it more happy but for now here is a little talk about last nights events;

Valborg- the holiday of doom.

I have noticed that I am growing more agoraphobic, crowds bother me and parties bother me even more. And it seems that my intuition about such things should be followed.

Valborg is a crazy holiday in Sweden, people basically light fires and get drunk, which is already a pretty bad premise. I try and avoid most of the festivities seeing as it is a religious holiday for me I try and go to some sort of pagan celebration. But living in the very uneducated pagan backwater of Sweden this isn't always an option, which is too bad because last night would really have been so much better if I would have been at a Beltane celebration instead.

First we where at a park with a enormous amount of crazy drunk people, cue me freaking out a bit. Internally of course, I never show my emotions on the outside, cold as ice It was pretty crazy like a festival but with normal people instead of the traditional festival crowd, and with everyone being ten times drunker.

Then we went to a party at a friends apartment, a close friend who we often hang out with and who my bf grew up with. This "friend" of ours kicked the crap out of me, I kicked his ass more but my shoulder is fucked. He also tried to hit on my and was really really inappropriate. Like trying to strangle, pulling my hair threatening to kill me and telling me how I am the hottest and how I wouldn't say no to him inappropriate. No to mention his sarcastic "awhs" and "why don't you call your boyfriend" when I told him he was a dick and to fuck of. I am already going into denial about last nights events. I can't believe that a person could be so different when drunk. Then again I never really trusted or liked him the way my bf did. Female intuition is underrated. At least I kicked his ass in public, no more macho points for him.

So not a great Beltane for me, I am definitely going to stick to religious festivities from now on.

Did you have a nice Valborg/Beltane?