eroticgeek

Upon my return home to Charleston, all hell broke loose basically. My parents did not want me being with Pezmaster and they were basically freeloading off of me and had been for over 20 years at this point. My parents do not work and are drug addicts. The home environment was not good and I was very unhappy. I was being abused emotionally and physically on a daily basis. I was not allowed to have an opinion, speak up about anything, and was basically there just to give them money. Thanks to them I am in severe debt and they owe me thousands of dollars of money that I will never see. Pezmaster was very angry about how was being treated and was trying to help me find a place to move to closer to him. At that point we were over an hour apart and only got to see each other once a month, which was hard on both of us. When we came back on October 3rd, the drama continued as usual. The next day however, my life changed forever. My dad threatened to kill me in front of Pezmaster and his younger brother. This was the last straw. I chose to leave all my belonging, my house, my friends, and what decent family I do have to move in with Pezmaster.

As of yesterday, April 5th 2011, I have been living with Pezmaster and his family. No, the situation isn't ideal, but at least I am no longer in danger. We are currently looking for our own place since Pezmaster got a new job and I am no longer having to support my family. It is still rough though. I have a lot to get used to. For example, we have no privacy (there are eight of us in one house). Also, I have no belongings of my own because I left all that had behind. Everyone here has been very helpful trying to replace clothing and such, but it is still not having all the things you were used to. Not to mention that now everyone back home hates me and will have nothing to do with me. This includes both family and friends. So
this is very upsetting. Other than Pezmaster, his wonderful family, and some of his friends, I have no one to turn to for support. So I have sacrificed a lot and so far it seems worth it, but only time will tell. I will tell you it has been quite a struggle, but I am in love enough to try to make it work. No matter what it takes. I also have had to deal with transferring all my doctors to this area due to my disability. This has been very stressful and expensive. I have been ill a lot over the past few months, but hopefully in the future this will improve. I can be quite grumpy when I do not feel well and I do not need to take it out on the wrong people. Directing my emotions in the proper direction is something I really need to work on. I have Pezmaster by my side, so I feel secure that everything will work out. I am just a VERY impatient person. As Veruca said on Willy Wonka, "I want it and I want it now!" (Just a side note: I hate that movie. I am scared to death of Gene Wilder. Please do not laugh. If I ever encountered him and David Bowie in a crowd I would surely die of a heart attack right on the spot! :eek)

On top of getting used to a new town, which is very small in comparison to where I grew up, I must also get used to being a parent of sorts. Pezmaster has a little boy, who in fact just turned four yesterday. Raising a child does not come with a instruction booklet and I have absolutely no clue what I am doing. He still doesn't listen to me and I do not like punishing so I think this is going to be an ongoing problem. To make matters worse, we are trying to potty train him. Everyone keeps telling us that boys are harder, but I never thought it would be like this. We have tried everything from rewards, to stories, to bribery, and the kid just plainly says, "He enjoys his diaper!" I just hope I can raise him to be a good person with the help of Pezmaster of course! I am so scared of being like my own parents. I think that is where the fear of punishing comes in. My parents used their fists and I strongly do not believe in that. I do not see anything wrong with an occasional spanking, but there is a difference between discipline and beating. Also, I am scared of the child's biological mother. Pezmaster and I are not married and part of me feels like I do not have a right to be disciplining his child. Although, he thinks that it has to happen if I am going to be around the child his whole life. I do not want his mother attacking me, if his son says I did something to harsh or even something I did not do at all. After all, he is only four and children lie and make up stories all the time. The whole scenario just makes me uneasy to say the least. Hopefully, with time I will learn to cope with all the changes a little better.

I know this blog is really long, but there is a few more things I wanted to add. As for myself, I have started back to graduate school. I am pursuing a Masters in Adult Education. I hope to teach college online once I graduate in a few years. Also, I got rid of the purple streaks in my hair. Even though, I did love them so. I went magenta for awhile and Pezmaster never truly vocalized it, but I knew deep down he hated it. Now however, it is back to its natural dark brown color. I will post some pictures of both for all of you to see. For those of you who are interested anyways...lol.