erich

I am not giving into the weakness anymore.

I cannot, will not.

I will fight this depression head on, for all I'm worth.

If I fail, it's not for lack of trying.

I'm tired of the drinking.

Tired of the cutting.

Tired of not feeling worthy of anyone.

FUCK THAT

This shit will end on my terms. I will not allow the depression to rule my life. As they say, fake it til you make it. Even if I feel absolutely horrible, I will not allow the feelings to rule me anymore. I will put on a positive face, a positive attitude, until I believe it. I will not allow anyone to perceive me as weak anymore. I will not believe it, I will not be it, I will not show it.


****************EDIT****************


One of my best friends made me cry today.

Total breakdown. bawled.

and couldn't have felt better about it.

She let me know that not only does she pray for me every night, but she got her class (she goes to a Catholic college) to pray for me this morning.

I don't know that I've ever felt that loved in my life.