eressa

I really wish that the way I viewed myself was better. I pretend to be confident and to love myself, but it only takes one negative comment about how I look to set me over the edge. I realize I used to be thin and beautiful. I realize I used to model. I realize that I gained a ton of weight. And I cant say that the way I look now doesnt bother me. Because it fucking does. I dont need anyone else to hate on my body or tell me I need to lose weight because I tell myself every time I look in the mirror. Honestly, Im aware of everything. You really dont need to keep reminding me. Im pretty on top of it.

In fact, I think that the way I look is the biggest problem I have with myself right now. I love my personality, despite the fact that I am really awkward and weird. I like my voice even though I sometimes talk on a really low register. I love that I can always find the compassion to help someone in need even though I dont particularly like that person. I love that I am so full of love. It deeply sickens me to see that the person I know I am on the inside isnt what I see in the mirror.

I realize that I am not a model anymore. I know that I am not that thin beautiful person I was only two years ago. But I am so much happier emotionally now that I dont have your son dragging me down and making me hate myself. Please please stop reminding me how I need to work on my outside now that my inside is relatively under control.

Cause its killing me. And I have enough to focus on right now as it is.
Besides, who are you to define whats beautiful?

Your whole family needs to get over themselves.