eonapocalypse

as i lay in bed right now, in my usual lack of self esteem...
attempting sleep as i always do, the insomnia returns...

but at least i am wide awake and not in a daze as usual. i lay under the window, staring out into the sky that never dims. and i find myself searching for peace and tranquillity. i found myself buying another Bright Eyes album (this time its "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning" the album released next to "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn," but i digress...) so as i relax to the acoustics, nor devoting attention to my new purchase because i am meditating.... on what i don't know except that it had to do with "there are no ends nor beginnings, there just is," and i find my meditation shattered. not something easily done.

suddenly the words of one particular song struck home. i was slightly amazed and dumbfounded at the same time. and now my meditation is lost, and i can't sleep.


in other news, dinner was cancelled tonight (big surprise) but hopefully the lunch tomorrow will actually happen. we'll see.

planning on going to the coffeehouse tomorrow night though to get some more work done on those pesky grad. apps though, can't focus at home.

the stars are calling me back again, maybe they know reason.