When will I get ahead!?!
I feel like I'm in the ocean, swimming towards the shore but there is a big huge patch of seaweed, and kelp that keeps getting in my way. I get all tangled up in it, I get tired and loose my breath from thrashing around in it. I feel like I can never make it through, while other people swim right by me.
Even though I feel this way, I know its not for long. Good things are happening to me, in ways I never thought possible. School is getting better, and work is fine. I know that I hate living at home and I know that will change soon.
I think my problem is that I've believed in what other people have said about me in the most negative ways, and that I try and judge my self from their standards. I've always tried to "one up" them, but I'm always fighting myself. I need to figure how to just say "fuck it" and drop all that bull shit, because it doesn't matter what those/that person has said or done to me. It's in the past, but the question I have is, why does it still hurt sometimes? I considered my self over a bunch of this crap, but it seems that there is still a little residual pain left over.
I feel like I'm in the ocean, swimming towards the shore but there is a big huge patch of seaweed, and kelp that keeps getting in my way. I get all tangled up in it, I get tired and loose my breath from thrashing around in it. I feel like I can never make it through, while other people swim right by me.
Even though I feel this way, I know its not for long. Good things are happening to me, in ways I never thought possible. School is getting better, and work is fine. I know that I hate living at home and I know that will change soon.
I think my problem is that I've believed in what other people have said about me in the most negative ways, and that I try and judge my self from their standards. I've always tried to "one up" them, but I'm always fighting myself. I need to figure how to just say "fuck it" and drop all that bull shit, because it doesn't matter what those/that person has said or done to me. It's in the past, but the question I have is, why does it still hurt sometimes? I considered my self over a bunch of this crap, but it seems that there is still a little residual pain left over.
It's in the past, but the question I have is, why does it still hurt sometimes? I considered my self over a bunch of this crap, but it seems that there is still a little residual pain left over
I feel like that sometimes and it's been 2 years almost now for me. It only hurts when other aspects of my life are going wrong. I too live at home and I hate it and when it gets on top of me the past also comes up and hurts like f u c k!
There may always be a little bit of residual pain, there always is. That's a sign that it meant something HUGE to you and is there to remind you where it went wrong and how to avoid it for next time.
Once you change other situations, like moving out, you'll concentrate more on other aspects and your pain will be pushed to the back of your mind. If it should come back again the simple trick of distracting yourself always works!
You seem really interesting. Add me as a friend?
this is a response to your board post (I posted it here because that thread is likely to get flamed)
Those states you mention always come back when there's trouble in your life.
If you are talking about an ex you must remember that many ex's only want you to see how "happy", "fabulous", "well off" etc they are "doing" to show that you never hurt them (or to hide hurt). They won't be showing you the tears, tantrums, troubles they experience so you will be getting the impression that they are doing 1000x better than you.
They are human too and they have insecurities, troubles etc etc and could be doing a lot worse than you.
I hope some of my rambles help! If not sorry