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ennuiwarrior

Anchorage, AK

Member Since 2002

Followers 7 Following 12

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Sunday May 28, 2006

May 28, 2006
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I had a funny little day yesterday. Nearly all my recent embarrassments and humblings if not humiliations found a way to cameo in my day. And the whole 'life is in balance' thing is way out, because I haven't been feeling particularly egotistical lately, so the universe has no good excuse for taking me down another couple notches with synchronicity. Course, maybe I should just get over it.

More strange dreams lately. I'm beginning to dream the things I wish I could do in real life. This one I was talking to my ex and explaining as rationally as I could exactly how and why I felt so devastated by our breakup, because I really don't think she knows. In my dream, though, no matter how direct I was it never seemed to register.

So dreaming about things you wish would happen. Something a therapist would call the missing experience. I was listening to This American Life and the subject was Cringeworthy stories, stories you tell and cringe at the way it illustrates you and how others perceive you. In one story a man was humiliated decades ago by another man. The humiliated man tracks him down to re-enact the scene, but this time without humiliation. I do this in my head all the time.

Read Vagabond by Takehiko Inoue. It is loosely based on the story of Miyamoto Musashi, Japan's sword saint. I am very picky about my comics. This one blows me away, though.... as well as....
Kabuki: Metamorphosis
Blue Monday
Bone

Keep listening to music. Keep trying to hear it on new levels. Concentrate on the progression of the chords, the addition of instruments, the clean parts and the dirty parts. Notice the differences in phrasing from verse to verse. Are there any differences? If I don't hear differences, I don't listen to the song for long.

It is kind of like pulling a golden thread from a dead tree. While I have no idea on how to do it, I can feel the chaos, depth, texture, rythm and voice of the images I surround myself with. I just want to be able to reply.

I've got to be rich. Please don't remind me how ridiculous this sounds. Please don't remind me that wealth is more than material possessions. A great comic once pointed out that every poor person knows exactly what they would do if they ever became rich. We fantasize about it all the time. Rich people do not fantasize about being poor.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
palcode:
woow i love Egon Schiele!!!...and i have the first 3 numbers o Vagabond at home biggrin
bye
Jun 6, 2006
myomiao:
yup, I think life is a strand of phases filled with little things that make everything worth it. smile

He just had a bad day that's all. But I still had fun doing it and the anticipation was great. biggrin

Hehe, I like being a girly girl sometimes ... but I have to admit that the rose petals and candle lights are a little cliche ... blush I love it though.
Jun 9, 2006

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