englishal

Here goes another blog entry that nobody cares about, nobody reads, nobody comments on.
Although why would i want comments if they are like the ones others recieve from these dubious associates.
Their fake sincerity, the massaging of egos in crindgeworthy, lecherous attempts to be humorous and worst of all inciteful and poignant.
As if these narcissists have all the remedies to lifes problems, owners...
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kneeling before the judge and jury
with no one to plead my defense
no evidence or character refrence
nothing but my protests of innocence
for i am an honest man

i swear on the bible, swear on my life
i swear on the lives of my loved ones
i've done nothing wrong, the slanders are false
yet making you see this, is my sentence
but...
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crying again.......
because im an innocent man, i haven't done anything
because im mis-represented, technology is conspiring against me
because you dont trust me or believe what i say even though its the truth
because of the frustration in trying to make you see im honest
because you've hurt me and are leaving
because i still and always will love you
crying again........to sleep.

i'm sinking.
i need for tonight to come,
i cant work, i cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant concentrate
i'm a mess
and i keep on crying like this, i'm pathetic.
i'm sinking

please throw me a lifeline, it isnt too late.

why?

and yet still i cant hate you.
and yet i still love you.
and yet i refuse to believe the things you said
but i'm still hurting as i've never hurt before
without you i'm nothing
i will never know love
these days will grow long
these nights empty and dark
and yet i will wait for you
for the person you really are
to...
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What the hell is wrong with me?
Everything good in my life seems to desert me sooner or later. I really, really thought this time it was different, that you were different. I still deep down think that you are.
There must be a flaw in my character, something which i cant see but everyone else can.
I must be a dispicable person, i must...
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Everything that i've done since i meet you has been for you. Your the reason i'm here, your the one who has given me a new lease on life. You are the one that has given me belief and optimism. Without you where am i? Without you who am i?

Sick, Sick, Sick

Monday was possibly the worst day of my life, certainly the worst day in the last 5 months.
And this narcasistic website is partly to blame, or at least one of its sicko members is to blame.
It is all very mysterious, i'm not entirely sure why things have taken the path they have. I just wish it was July again and everything was cool...
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