I went to my families house in need of some comfort
a friendly face, a smile, a brotherly joke, my dear little sister and a goodnight story.
we played uno, i lost every game,
watched a bbc comedy, the lines passed me by
i halfheartedly raised a smile, insincere and melancholic
i was unfamiliuar and distant when all i really wanted was for someone to hug me, hold me tight
and tell me everything is gonna be okay
i wish i could have opened up to them, the hurt that im feeling
the upset and the frustration, but i couldnt,
what is with me?
and so i walked home through the damp empty streets alone.
I was almost awakend by the frosty air, autumn is arrived, perhaps its a metaphor?
the coolness showed my breath, i wished i had no more breath to see
back to my house, the windows void, the welcoming silent
not even asher now to skip across the floor, purring and proud
i sat in my armchair for five minutes or more just staring
thinking, thinking, thinking....
i went blank
and the buzz of the quietude became a frantic cocophony
i washed my face, my dispicable face, to break the dormantcy
i switched on the laptop, the windows theme, the fan starting to whill
connect to bt broadband....windows live messenger...
offline....maybe you are there? i write
alas, there is no reply, i was falsely optimistic....the silence mocked me
and so i sat
on my bed
crying into my hands, uncontrolably and ashamed,
making a futile effort to hide the tears
from my books and records that look upon me
never have i felt more lonely
how pathetic i must seem
no,
how pathetic i am
i am pathetic, i am plain, i am a con, i am a motherfucker, i am a liar, i am a cheat,
i am a miserable sucker, i am boring, i am shallow, i am all these things in your eyes
but none are true
i need more self esteem
im writing this now
thinking of nights gone by, happy times...
it just doubles the pain, thoughts of while the cats away and all that
but im sure im wrong
im not going to give up, i always said i wouldnt leave you
i meant it
and call me a presumptuous, persistant optimist, call me a mug
but i really hope we will talk again
soon, please im lost without you
i love you xxx
a friendly face, a smile, a brotherly joke, my dear little sister and a goodnight story.
we played uno, i lost every game,
watched a bbc comedy, the lines passed me by
i halfheartedly raised a smile, insincere and melancholic
i was unfamiliuar and distant when all i really wanted was for someone to hug me, hold me tight
and tell me everything is gonna be okay
i wish i could have opened up to them, the hurt that im feeling
the upset and the frustration, but i couldnt,
what is with me?
and so i walked home through the damp empty streets alone.
I was almost awakend by the frosty air, autumn is arrived, perhaps its a metaphor?
the coolness showed my breath, i wished i had no more breath to see
back to my house, the windows void, the welcoming silent
not even asher now to skip across the floor, purring and proud
i sat in my armchair for five minutes or more just staring
thinking, thinking, thinking....
i went blank
and the buzz of the quietude became a frantic cocophony
i washed my face, my dispicable face, to break the dormantcy
i switched on the laptop, the windows theme, the fan starting to whill
connect to bt broadband....windows live messenger...
offline....maybe you are there? i write
alas, there is no reply, i was falsely optimistic....the silence mocked me
and so i sat
on my bed
crying into my hands, uncontrolably and ashamed,
making a futile effort to hide the tears
from my books and records that look upon me
never have i felt more lonely
how pathetic i must seem
no,
how pathetic i am
i am pathetic, i am plain, i am a con, i am a motherfucker, i am a liar, i am a cheat,
i am a miserable sucker, i am boring, i am shallow, i am all these things in your eyes
but none are true
i need more self esteem
im writing this now
thinking of nights gone by, happy times...
it just doubles the pain, thoughts of while the cats away and all that
but im sure im wrong
im not going to give up, i always said i wouldnt leave you
i meant it
and call me a presumptuous, persistant optimist, call me a mug
but i really hope we will talk again
soon, please im lost without you
i love you xxx