Once again i have become the outsider.
Pushed away to the periphary, forgotten about, ignored, left to my own devices. In the past i haven't minded, indeed i have embraced the role bestowed upon me. However this occassion is very much different, just when i thought i was finally becoming accepted by someone way out of my league , gorgeous and cool, i have been consigned to my solitary boundary. Crashing back down to reality.
It makes me so sad, confused, angry, upset and it hurts me deeply, i look around for you but your face doesn't show. What a naive fool i have been, to think that you could ever love me the way i love you. Yes i do still love you, despite the nastiness.
This isn't the place for these meandering thoughts, because i feel more of an outsider here than almost anywhere else. Do i have anything in common with the people here? Everybody seems wildly confident in theirselves, everybody is massively more experienced than i am, or may ever be. Their lives seem to revolve around sg, around tattoos and around sex.
I just have no connection to their lifestyles. Perhaps i'm tarnishing everyone with the same brush and thats unfair, but why the hell shouldn't i annoy and antagonise a few people, being a nice guy is getting me nowhere.
I'm always on the outside looking in.
You gave me a smile i was proud of, a new belief in myself, my confidence was growing, so much so that i showed you stuff i wouldn't have dreamed about doing before i met you.
Now you think of me only as this, my personality, however bland it may be, has been overshadowed. My innocence lost. My heart ripped in two, it was yours to keep forever, but well........it still is if you want it.
I'm sick of being an outsider, all i want is you. Everything i love is everything you are. Please let me back in to your warmth and sunshine.
I was going to set this blog to friends only, but what is the purpose in a childish and suspicious act such as this, besides the outsider has no friends. Even though he needs them.
Pushed away to the periphary, forgotten about, ignored, left to my own devices. In the past i haven't minded, indeed i have embraced the role bestowed upon me. However this occassion is very much different, just when i thought i was finally becoming accepted by someone way out of my league , gorgeous and cool, i have been consigned to my solitary boundary. Crashing back down to reality.
It makes me so sad, confused, angry, upset and it hurts me deeply, i look around for you but your face doesn't show. What a naive fool i have been, to think that you could ever love me the way i love you. Yes i do still love you, despite the nastiness.
This isn't the place for these meandering thoughts, because i feel more of an outsider here than almost anywhere else. Do i have anything in common with the people here? Everybody seems wildly confident in theirselves, everybody is massively more experienced than i am, or may ever be. Their lives seem to revolve around sg, around tattoos and around sex.
I just have no connection to their lifestyles. Perhaps i'm tarnishing everyone with the same brush and thats unfair, but why the hell shouldn't i annoy and antagonise a few people, being a nice guy is getting me nowhere.
I'm always on the outside looking in.
You gave me a smile i was proud of, a new belief in myself, my confidence was growing, so much so that i showed you stuff i wouldn't have dreamed about doing before i met you.
Now you think of me only as this, my personality, however bland it may be, has been overshadowed. My innocence lost. My heart ripped in two, it was yours to keep forever, but well........it still is if you want it.
I'm sick of being an outsider, all i want is you. Everything i love is everything you are. Please let me back in to your warmth and sunshine.
I was going to set this blog to friends only, but what is the purpose in a childish and suspicious act such as this, besides the outsider has no friends. Even though he needs them.