endquire

I could never really trust anyone to really love me. Someone can say I love you and I believe they believe they love me but that is all. Ultimately everyone exists in a world where they are the center, the axis on which their world turns. Their emotions are of the utmost importance. Everything else is secondary. No one could ever love me as I love them. You cannot ever really love or really give if you are in constant fear of what you could lose, what might be taken from you, what pain you could feel or how you might hurt. You cannot truly and honestly give of yourself in that situation. If you are viewing the world through lenses of your own self interest, lingering wounds, memories poisoned with fear and pain, fantasies of being rescued from your pain. It will block you from any honest relationship. To look out into the world with a biased vision is to be blind to reality. You cannot be honest to others when you are being dishonest with yourself. It isn't just s few people here and there. It is almost everyone. They get by ok and since it is so ubiquitous no one cares or notices. Everyone is correct, normal and has the correct thoughts in their own head. That's why it took so long to discover that people who cannot feel pain cannot smell either. They were normal in their own heads. You want to know why people make bad life choices? Fear, personal dishonesty, lack of deep self analysis. Relationships, social programming(racism, prejudices, biases,preconceptions,political opinions, sexual perspectives,morals, ethics, religion, etc ), practical social interactions are all a matter of inner truth. You cannot make real decisions, say what you really think, or what you really feel until you can be truly honest with yourself. If everyone could be so fearlessly open, honest and aware the world and its citizens would have none of their current problems. I don't expect that level of maturity to be reached in this millennium.