endquire

Basically all I ever see are people who want to hide. People afraid of being human. People afraid of growing. The most amazing thing to me about people is how boring and useless they can be when there is all the potential in them. All the cowardice and weakness. So many choices and always press the nothing button. Like seeds, that choose not to grow. Avocado pits covered in graffiti and choosing that as reality. Living in disbelief of the ideas of those pits that talk about using the nourishment of their endosperm to grow up into the sky. If you had a metal bead. Formed in an intricately sculpted mold. Then you cover it with clay, sculpt it, then fire it. Now you have an object that looks absolutely different. Yet, the original bead is still inside, unchanged, just hidden. Then you cover it with more clay, sculpt it and let it dry. Now you have something completely different. Doesn't look like either of the other layers, but has not removed the other layers. Soaked in water, that new layer dissolves. Take a hammer and strike the layer beneath, and it falls away. That leaves you with the original bead. I might be as upset about it if it didn't claim things so beautiful as it does. What is even worse, or not. I haven't decided yet. What is very likely worse it the extent to which most others work in concert unconscious to their effect at limiting, restricting, crushing, killing, all that is truly beautiful. Then again, if you stop hating yourself then the economy will collapse.

Watching Monsters versus aliens it occurred to me that there are not enough women like katie who is sexually aggressive with her date who is whiny and useless. Then when the meteor comes whooshing over the car and crashes, she runs to investigate. The whiner, whines and twists his ankle. She carries him because she is too nice and should have left him there to die. it seems like a lot more women are like ginormica who constantly doubts her power, value, and abilities. She wants to waste her own abilities and potential in order to choose a life of being the minor disposable sidekick in another persons life. Clearly the point of the character is to make the point that women waste their power and potential on the basis of often self perpetrated ideas that weaken them from the inside out. Why save the world when you can be derricks housewife. The vast majority of men and everyone in tv news needs to be killed anyway. It seems that so many relationships are based so much more in ideas, concepts, fantasies, and the like. An imagined life with moments, pictures, dream weddings, vacations. Life plans already there with a face cut out for anyone to fill. As opposed to being someone, becoming yourself. Then finding others to include in your life and your path. Then again most peoples lives are rather anonymous. Cogs in someone elses machines. lives where the individuals are largely unimportant. pull someone out, put in someone else. machines keep running. oh this is who I am as an special individual like they told me in school. I like this and this and this and i am a this kind of person and a this kind of person. YES YOU ARE! just like the several hundred thousand others who are practically identical to you. There is a difference between a real human and a disposable resource consumer.

link to a beautiful hell.