endquire

/gallery/]I am not into burlesque but I think others might

romance 3000

I am always thinking and yet there can be an emptiness in the space between me and the outside world.

It was recently discussed that whether or not anyone loves me is entirely irrelevant. It is not to say that ones love would be considered disposable, meaningless or met with disdain. It is simply that my love is not dependent upon the feelings of others. love is not something that can be chosen. There are so many pieces of ones existence that figure into ones love for another. Ultimately I am not given to fault anyone for falling in love with anyone else. My friend loves that man she loves and will never be with. It is not a logical love. I cannot say that he means to her what she means to him. I hope he does and she says he does so I will trust her. I just wish she could be happy and not in pain over her love. I just want her to be happy. We often fight to a stand still on things because her arguments are perfect. She and I have discussed love and pain and all those things. We understand the pain of our love. I have never been one to encourage another's love for me. It would probably be best for me to move out of a space where my humanity stands any longer and I am just a secret force in the shadows. I can't disappear because I keep finding out what my existence means to others. How it has been a lifeline, an anchor, or a point of change in ones life. It is safe to say there is no sort of real human existence to come for me. I have to be sharing my life with someone to have a human life with them. Part of why I never wanted anyone to fall in love with me was so that I would never be in interference in their lives.
how creepy, it reminds me of hitler. not my cat the bad hitler