endedben

Part Two: Walk Into the Jaws of Hell


There's never been a bigger disappointment than Spring Break: Shark Attack. You could not have a less accurate portrayal of Spring Breaks or shark attacks. And the lack of closure on the date rapist's possible consumption was a terrible oversight. Poor form, CBS. Poor form.

Meanwhile: The new Ben Folds album ain't shit. I was the first person I know who owned his first solo album and I liked him and his Five at a time. But now he's just another one of those countless things ruined by my ex-girlfriend. Throw him on the list with OS X and The University of Michigan.




I haven't worked for awhile and I'm not in work shape at all right now. I'm staying up all hours, smoking untold things and keeping company of many shady and disreputable villains. I'm surely a threat to any company's future and I hope they don't find out and fire me.

I need to get in shape. Which means I'l have to stop snacking so much in my weed fueled escapism. I mean, that's why I bought apples, right? So I don't down half a bag of Doritos? It's almost beach season and I need to be in shape to kick sand in the nerd's face.

I have three music editors on my friends list. That's got to get me some discounts, right?

I work for twelve hours tomorrow. Ten to Ten. I don't know if my internet boss knows how to run a business and be a boss. I don't know how to tell him about my second job, even though I mentioned the distinct possibility of two jobs. He's a nice guy, though, I'd hate to take advantage of him and his total ignorance of my charm and evil.

Sexy Update:
I asked my boss if I can leave early today and not work tomorrow and he didn't even think about it, he just agreed. He said I can pretty much work whenever I want, except weekends. While it will be hard to not drag myself into work on a Saturday morning, I will manage.